#365Gratitude Day 55:The best medicine

On Friday, Missy had knee surgery, an ACL repair.

It was a long, harrowing day.  

I did my best to be a good surgery wingman.  We got out of the house very early, showing up at what turned out to be the wrong surgical center, and then made our way to the same group's second site, showing up right on time for her surgery.

And then we waited.  And waited.  And when we were done waiting we then waited some more.  We got a brief scare about whether or not our insurance would cover the anesthesiologist.  I hopped on the phone and straightened it out.

Along the way I kept up a steady stream of texts, posts on social media, and joking around, to keep the stress at bay, keep Missy laughing and feeling okay.

We played Words with Friends.  I sent her goofy messages.

Eventually they took her back.

After she was prepped for surgery, I went to find something to eat, and to get her something for when she woke up in recovery.

She really wanted french fries.

I got her french fries.

I ended up eating them because she was in way too much pain, and way too nauseous for food.

I distracted her with more laughter.

Eventually, I got her home, and safely into a recliner stacked with blankets, where MB and I hovered over her, until she could finally sleep.

It was a long day, but I got us both through it with laughter and care.

#365Gratitude Day 54:Noteworthy

Not the actual drawing, but you get the idea

Yesterday I got started on something new at work, and was puzzling it out with several co-workers.  I have this little whiteboard at my desk, and was using it to illustrate how I thought the whole thing would be put together.

After some lively discussion, we reached some degree of consensus about it.  I realized that verbalizing what we were doing, my idea of it, and the related factors just hadn't been enough.

I don't usually draw stuff out like that, but it was so helpful.  And it got me thinking about keeping an open mind about trying new things, taking a different perspective, trying to learn differently.

I'm grateful I can keep an open mind.  It does me a lot of good.

#365Gratitude Day 53:Correction and missed steaks

Today was a good, if busy day.

First, at the day job, I started in on a new "story", which involved me stretching out in some new technical directions again.

Once I sat down and began to dig into it, I found some bad code another coworker had written, something I could fix handily, and did so.

A delightful glass of shiraz.

That sure felt good.

Then after work, I corrected a mistake of my own.  I went and bought new running shoes to replace the very beat up, slightly too small pair I had been using, and which have been making my back hurt like heck after a few miles.

After which, I went to a nice restaurant near the running store for wine and steak.

Mmmm... so good.

Really, the best part of the whole thing, sort of the unifying theme of the day, was that it's never too late to correct something you did before, improve on it, make it better.

I'm excited to get back to running more, now that I've got good shoes with which to do it.

I'm excited that I've learned enough about what I do that I could quickly, and easily, improve on the efforts of what my co-worker had done.

I'm grateful, and that's no missed steak.

Fantastic steak

#365Gratitude Day 52:You're reading it

So, this is pretty meta, but my gratitude today is this blog.  Not this actual post, that would be too meta.

But seriously, it's the blog.

I started it back in June, 2014.  I've written in it fairly faithfully since, while experimenting with different levels of commitment.

Back in January, I made the decision to stay caught up, to do my best to blog each day, or at the very least get caught up when I get behind by a few days.

I'm feeling damn good about it.  One of the things which has jumped out at me in particular today is how that practice, that discipline, is encouraging me to pay attention to mindfulness in general.  It's got me slowing down, listening to bird song (right now in fact), appreciating the moment.

I can be incredibly hard on myself.  I often withhold from me the same gentle kindness and compassion I show most everyone and everything else.  But then I'll remember to slow down and appreciate well, everything.

I love being alive.  I love the tiniest aspects about it.  

I love how when I tromped downstairs a bit ago, with the intention to catch up the blog this morning, my cats followed me downstairs to get fed.  I love how I sat, still in my pajamas and diaper, and wrote my gratitudes, as the sun came up.  I love that I can hear the not-quite-silence of the house, with the refrigerator humming quietly to itself in the kitchen, and hear my own breath amongst the sound of my typing.

It's beautiful, the whole damn thing.

And this blog, this practice of journaling, it helps me see it.  Daily.

#365Gratitude Day 51:Verfolgt

Verfolgt is german for "haunted", and it's the name of a film made back in 2006.

Yesterday, as I was working from home, I first read about it online, and then found where I could watch it.

I got on this little tear yesterday, interested in female domination in mainstream media.  The truth is, you don't see it a lot.  Kink being in the public eye is a cyclical thing.  Sure there's the Fifty Shades series, that's such a thing lately, with the books, and the two films now.  Before that there was the Exit to Eden film.

But you don't seem female domination a lot, and when you do, it's usually pretty problematic.

That's sad, really.

So, the film.  I found you could watch the whole damn thing, on YouTube!  Here, go ahead:

Yes, it's got some of that problematic stuff.  But, in this case, I think it's handled, well, artfully.  I don't want to say exactly how or why it's problematic, because I don't want to spoil the plot for you.

But I loved this film.  I was happy to find it watchable, and want to buy the film.  There are parts of it that are highly erotic.  But the thing that really makes this film shine is the performances.  These characters are very, very real.  You see the emotions they struggle with, see how they try to figure themselves out, and what they mean to one another.

It's amazing.