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It’s been a while.

I was chatting with a new friend today, someone I met through the Camp Crucible chat, and showed them this blog.

Which I realized I had not updated since January. That’s been on my mind lately Brother and I were talking about my blog the other day and he lamented how much he missed it.

My new friend, let’s call her M, is a mindfulness fan just like I am. We had this amazing chat about how mindfulness pervades our lives, and the many ways it can be helpful.

That got me thinking and wanting to write here again even more. It’s been a while for many things for me, that I’ve begun to focus on again.

Here’s a few:

  • Since January I’ve been actively working out and food journaling to get in shape.

  • I’m headed back to Camp Crucible this month.

  • I’m open to new connections with other people. I don’t need them, I’m just open to them.

I’m fascinated by the fact that while I’m a different person than I was before, I CAN pick up things from the past and embrace them again. After several months of swimming, I’ve started walking on a treadmill and also hiking, which I’m new to.

There’s this thought I’m struggling to express properly. I’m grateful that while things change, while I change, nothing is ever truly lost. Nothing’s thrown away in the rubbish bin. It’s just put behind me, made part of my past. Those prior experiences, interests, connections, and relationships help inform the me-that-I-am-now, which is really the only me that there is.

I’m grateful for all that’s happened. And all that is happening.

It's funny how a good night's sleep sets you to rights.  I had an excellent one last night, getting to bed on time, lights out.  I got 7 hours and 20 minutes of gorgeous sleep.  

I struggle with bedtimes often.  I don't want to go to bed, or have a ton of things on my mind, or busy myself with unimportant things.  There's no video game that needs 20 more minutes of playing, no facebook post that needs replying to, more than I need my sleep.

But I rocked it last night.  Then this morning, I woke up feeling ready to take on the world.  Missy got me out of my diaper, and into the shower, and got on her way.

After I got out, I got nice sweet text messages from her.

These, specifically.

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Intellectually, I know I'm generally well behaved. and a good boy.  But it sure is nice to be told so.

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
CategoriesgratitudeNow

Today, I'm doing some writing and hanging out with Missy in the living room.

Yang is with me

Yang is with me

My boycat Yang is sitting on my lap, insinuating himself between me and the laptop.  It's adorable.  It's a pain in the ass.  It's both!  

Cats are such funny, entitled, loving agents of chaos.  At first I wanted to push him off my lap, and really get to work.  But he's got me realizing it's important to go slow, and pay attention to love.

It makes me think of Andrea.  She was a cat person too.  Her babies, Abbycat and Daddycat, look, weirdly like my Yin and Yang.  She has expressed to me many times how they're lovely pains-in-the-neck, too.

I COULD be writing in my office, at my desk. without company (cat or spouse).  But it's better this way.

I know Andrea would approve.

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
CategoriesgratitudeNow

For lunch today, I grilled myself a ribeye steak. and some zucchini.

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They were delicious.  

I've been doing the keto diet for over a year now.  I'm down a little over 50 pounds.  It's not been horribly difficult, but it hasn't been a piece of cake either.  When I go shopping, the supermarket is like 90% stuff-I-don't-eat-anymore, and 10% the good stuff.  Sometimes, I do cheat, and when I do it's generally not a little thing.  (It's amazing how you can't seem to eat just a few french fries.)

But for the most part, I'm not regretting the choice.  Some of the things I do get to eat are fantastically delightful.  

The other day I renewed my gym membership, and started swimming again.  Wow, I sure have lost of lot of fitness!  But, when I went to put my swim suits on, they fit just great.  I'm actively looking to add exercise back to my regimen, too now.

I feel like this past year has taught me a lot.  I'm going to keep sticking with keto for the duration.

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
CategoriesgratitudeNow