So long before onlydoing was a thing, I used to have a livejournal.

I haven’t written in it for about seven years. But it’s still around. Periodically I go back to it, go “dumpster-diving” through old entries, old memories.

The other day I stumbled across the very beginning of one of my oldest, dearest friendships.

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Vanessa, also known as Shokolada and I did indeed become the very best of friends.

Going on almost 17 years now.

What a wonderful thing.

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
CategoriesgratitudeNow
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Or mug of coffee or whatever.

Actually, this particular blog post isn’t even about me, per se, but a dear friend.

Several months ago, this friend approached me about a problem. They were finally feeling their best self, living their authentic life. They felt in touch with their kinks, were getting social in the best ways, and feeling great about it.

And then, some “well-meaning” person broadsided them. In the interests of anonymity, I’m not going to reveal anything about either party, even gender. So let’s call my friend Oolong, and the well-meaning person Pekoe.

Pekoe said something to Oolong to the effect of, “you’re being super creepy and objectifying people, and everyone thinks so but won’t tell you.”

This devastated my friend Oolong. Who is sex-positive, feminist, compassionate, and kind.

It was also, as it turns out, completely untrue. Pekoe was having some sort of moment. They had come completely unhinged, and proceeded to make a whole lot of accusations about a whole lot of people, all in one go.

Okay, so why am I writing about this then?

Well, Oolong and I sat down for a virtual cuppa this morning (because Covid) and they revealed this truth to me.

“Ever been relieved and angry at the same time? That was me last night and still a little this morning.”

So we sat down and we talked it out.

And here’s what I said to them about it.

“First, and most importantly I’m relieved, sorrowful, and angry right along with you.
Second, this just doubles down my position on kindness and compassion as my default.
Third, this thing cements what I have been saying for a long time, about not chasing people. Looking for vetting, benediction, validation, or blessing from another human being is a brittle strategy.

Because people are fucking broken And in their dysfunction often do some pretty grievous shit to one another So a huge problem with chasing is that you’re reaching out for something you need from a source that may not have it Because people are messy bags of slop.

Some days I am in the zone, and got it going on. Other days I’m a damn mess So getting hard and fast guidelines from another bag of slop, to help me be less of a bag of slop... Probably not my best choice

So… I’m not saying to not seek out validation from others. Just to be selective and judicious about it. It’s what Brené Brown says.  Being vulnerable to somebody else, that’s an earned thing. People have to show their worth to me to be worth wanting to be vulnerable to them.”

The whole exchange left me feeling good about helping my friend, and just more resolute about my positions on things.

Yes, it’s nice to be liked. But I don’t require it. I’m not for everyone.

That’s a comfort.

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
CategoriesgratitudeNow
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So the other day, I caught up with an old friend, S. I saw her posting about something near and dear to my heart (cooking with an air fryer), asking for advice and help.

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I’m a big fan of those things, and do a lot of cooking with the ones we have. (Yes, plural.)

So I pinged her, and we got a video chat going.

She and I have been good, loving friends for a long, long time. She’s someone I see at events, one in particular. But we don’t live close to one another, and I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen her in person in the past five years.

But I adore her. And she adores me. So I video called, and we caught up. And it was glorious. We expressed our mutual affection and feelings of connection for one another, caught up about our lives, and doubled down on why we feel so fondly for one another.

It was good.

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
CategoriesgratitudeNow
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Over the years that I’ve been an author, and we’ve been creating the podcast, my work has made me pretty well known in the ageplay and kink communities. I’m always leery to use the term “minor internet/kink celebrity” because of even the slightest whiff of Gilderoy Lockhart style self-aggrandizement. But it’s true, I do have fans.

I love hearing from people how the podcast has helped them, or how they enjoy my books. It’s super gratifying when a complete stranger, someone I’ve never met, and wouldn’t know otherwise, reaches out across the aether to let me know that my work has had meaning to them in their life.

Relatedly, I had the nicest thing happen to me about two weeks ago. I was hanging out on a discord server I like, “MDLB and Friends!” just chatting when I struck up a conversation with someone, Danny.

I told Danny about my secret project I’ve been working on, Project Longbottom. It’s a software tool, an app-as-a-service for age players. I’ve been working on it like crazy for several months now, and it actually just went into beta testing a few days ago.

We were chatting about it when Danny told me he was a fan of my work. He’s listened to the podcast for ages, and had recently bought and was actually in the middle of reading Concerning LIttleton when we were talking. He told me “I bought concerning littleton and started to read it, I just got to say how amazing it is.”

So we had this lovely conversation.

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And just like that, he went from fan to friend.

We’ve become fast friends, me and Danny, and his lovely wife/mommy Steph too. They’re helping me to test Project Longbottom and their help has been of immense value to me.

I feel incredibly lucky to have good friends like these.

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
CategoriesgratitudeNow