#gratitudeNow: That's Fitting

So part of my mindful practice is, well, practice. What I mean is there’s lots of time I am not mindful, catch myself at it, and gently steer back towards it.

I can be incredibly tough on myself, which often is not a good thing. And sometimes I fixate on things. I’ll have an unexpected something-or-other come up, good or bad, and firmly hook myself to it, riding off in an emotional swell of joy or despair.

My right sneaker, and the rainbow stripe sock I have on with it.

In the past day or so, I’ve done that a bunch of times. First I realized that our retirement savings are in even better shape than I’d realized. Cue joy upswing. Then I found out about a big car repair we have to do. Cue angry frustration. I made some progress on a challenging work problem. You guessed it - upswing. Realized potential issue with said work problem. And… down again.

Exhausting.

Okay, so what’s that have to do with my sneaker?

Well, it’s this. Part of mindful practice is making the conscious decision to stay present. Staying present doesn’t mean not feeling things. Just the opposite. You do feel them. You lean into them. To use a food metaphor, you don’t nibble or sip at the feeling you’re consuming. You take a big bite, a big gulp of it.

And then you swallow it, and take the next.

I woke up this morning with a bit of fatigue over my day yesterday, all that up and down. And as I was getting dressed, I decided to reach for my sneakers. I haven’t worn them in ages. That’s because of my lymphedema. I’ve become quite used to these shoes not fitting well at all anymore.

But, I’ve really become good about wearing my compression socks most days. I use my lymphedema pump at least once a week. So really, I’ve mostly got it under control.

Which is why when I went to get dressed, I decided to see if they fit well. When I first went to pull them on, I had a little anticipatory disappointment cued up. But I didn’t need it. They fit great!

Cue joy.

But this time around, I felt the joy (heck, and took a picture of my foot for this post), and then made the conscious decision to let it sort of slip out of my mental fingers.

Which, because it was deliberate, felt good, satisfying.

Embracing practice is a healthy thing.

This certainly wasn’t a unique experience. I’ve lost my practice before, and picked it back up again, countless times. I’m going to do it again, without doubt too.

Like my shoes this morning, that’s fitting.

#gratitudeNow: This VR thing is working out

So for my birthday last month, I got an awesome present, an Oculus Quest 2 VR headset. It’s amazing, and I’m quite taken with it.

Besides being fun, it’s actually a dorky way to get some exercise in, too.

I’ve started this morning routine, where I spend about 35-45 minutes doing two fitness games.

The first is called Beat Saber. You use these glowing light sabers to hack and slash little block in time to music, while you duck and dodge obstacles. It’s hard, and I love it!

(Yeah, Mission 4A is kicking my ass. I’ll get it eventually!)

The second one, Echo VR I love even more. It’s a zero gravity e-sport. You are in this robot body that has thrusters in the wrists, and a main propulsion unit on the back. It’s very Iron Man like. You can float, flip, and glide through this sort of space station which has an arena in it. In the arena, you play a sort of soccer-like game chasing a disc (think TRON) around, and trying to throw it in the other team’s goal. (Each team has three players.).

So far, I mostly play it with AI teammates against AI opponents. But I’d love to get together with some friends to play it regularly. I’ve also found I’m something of a bruiser. I enjoy floating up to my opponents, grabbing onto them and punching them in the head.

This morning, that behavior, plus a sudden quick save throw got me a win!

It’s fun, but it’s also really exercise, that I look forward to doing.

And it’s totally working. I’m losing weight, actively look forward to my time in virtual space each morning, and seeking out the exercise. Yay!

#gratitudeNow: No mis-steaks

For lunch today, I grilled myself a ribeye steak. and some zucchini.

They were delicious.  

I've been doing the keto diet for over a year now.  I'm down a little over 50 pounds.  It's not been horribly difficult, but it hasn't been a piece of cake either.  When I go shopping, the supermarket is like 90% stuff-I-don't-eat-anymore, and 10% the good stuff.  Sometimes, I do cheat, and when I do it's generally not a little thing.  (It's amazing how you can't seem to eat just a few french fries.)

But for the most part, I'm not regretting the choice.  Some of the things I do get to eat are fantastically delightful.  

The other day I renewed my gym membership, and started swimming again.  Wow, I sure have lost of lot of fitness!  But, when I went to put my swim suits on, they fit just great.  I'm actively looking to add exercise back to my regimen, too now.

I feel like this past year has taught me a lot.  I'm going to keep sticking with keto for the duration.

#gratitudeNow:Refangulation by Panties

So, about 25 years ago, a college friend of mine, Rob embarked on a secret, lifelong mission with me.  It's been long enough that I feel I can finally come clean about it.

We were both fascinated by the word "quiz" and its unusual origin.  It had been more or less injected into the english language as an exploit, back in the late 18th century.  Being two stalwart academics with an eye toward both nerdishness and tomfoolery, we decided we would do our own guerrilla assault on the English language, inserting our own nonsense word.

That word is Refangulate.  It's a verb, meaning to measure by relative means.  You know how a cubit is from Pharaoh's tip of his finger to his elbow?  That's refangulation.  How about how a smurf is three apples high, or how a horse is so many handspans tall?  Yup, refangulation again.

I have subtly used the word in conversation for over two decades, trying to get it to catch.

The reason I'm coming clean about it today is that this morning, as I was getting dressed, I caught myself in an unwitting act of self-refangulation by panties, as I was getting dressed.

Two pairs of my underpants.  Technically only one pair is a pair of panties.  Cat (Yang) included for size comparison.  Which I suppose is a form of refangulation itself, so, a double!

I'm going through my underwear drawer, like you do, picking out what I want to wear for the day, while I dodge the loving underfoot antics of my cats.  As I'm going through the drawer I notice the pair on the lefthand side of the picture, which are relatively new, and which I bought several months ago.  When I first got them they were just a bit too small on me to even be worn.  The pair on the right are a pair of panties my wife bought for me, a long while back.  

I kept both of these pairs of underpants because I like them, and because I knew I wanted to fit into them.  I'm down almost 33 pounds now from when I started doing keto back in mid-March, and they've both become QUITE comfortable.  I'm slowly shrinking into underpants I really like, and which will soon become too big to wear.

I realized that I've begun to measure myself by panties.  That's a refangulation I can really get behind.  Or into.  Or something.

#gratitudeNow:My friend Gram & the speed limit

This morning I woke up, jumped out of bed, and startled to hustle about.  I had a lot to do this morning, and was obsessing over some things.  Financial stuff, business stuff, day job stuff, health stuff.  My mind was a whirling storm of must-do's, shouldn't-do's, wants, expectations, all sorts of shenpa.

I took some time in the shower to follow my breath, and detach from my thoughts, to observe them.  Slowly, the storm in my head began to settle.

I reshuffled my priorities, realizing I could work on Project Drummond tonight, and that I really wanted to pack my lunch.  That's because hunting for keto friendly food near my office is a pain in the ass.  It's also expensive, and I like having the control over what I'm eating.  That way I can make good choices before I have to eat.

So I resolved to make myself a leftover salad.  Roast beef, cheddar, romaine, lettuce, tomatoes, and some olive oil, salt and pepper dressing.  

I used my awesome kitchen scale to measure everything in grams.  That was amazing, because my scale does grams easily, and every food in my carb tracking software, Carb Manager Pro, seems to have a listing for it by gram.  It was SO easy.  As you can see, with a 2g breakfast, and a 7g lunch, I'm totally rocking staying inside my 25g limit for the day.

The nice part of that whole process was I got to focus and slow down even more.  I chopped vegetables, tore lettuce, weighed ingredients.  While I was doing all this I most certainly was NOT thinking about all the storm-tossed-items I'd awoken to.  It's not that I was consciously avoiding thinking of them.  Rather, I'd put them aside to be in the moment.

There's this saying of the Dalai Lama's I quote all the time that everyone should meditate for 30 minutes a day, unless you really don't have the time.  In that case, he advises, you should meditate for an hour.

It's true.  As I sit writing this, I'm calm.  Yes, I have a lot to do today, yes, it's going to be busy.  And I will deal with what I need to do, one thing at a time.  But I don't have to worry about that now. 

I'm present, here.  (Except for a tiny pleasure seeking shenpa about how good that salad's going to be!)