Pema Chödrön is a Buddhist monk, author, and speaker.  She wrote this amazing book, When Things Fall Apart.  

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The book is about the all too common mistakes we make in the west, dealing with pain and suffering.   She offers another way.

It's not a religious book, but a book about thinking.  It's about how we think, what we think, and how we can approach it differently.  

It's brilliant.  

I'll warn you that it can be a very upsetting book. When I first read it, I realized I had been needlessly torturing myself for about 20 years over some aspects of how I see myself, who I think I am.   

When I realized it, I locked myself in a bathroom and sobbed into my hands for about half an hour.  

Then I realized I was still torturing myself.  I laughed, washed my face, and felt much better.  

I won't tell you that since then I never torture myself. That would be nonsense.  Often are the times when I condemn myself for eating poorly, making bad choices, being lazy or selfish.  

Then I remember. I do as Pema teaches, turn into the pain, really look at it, and myself, with compassion and brutal, unflinching honesty. 

It's not easy. But it is worthwhile. Afterward, I feel like I've scrubbed myself raw, like I'm new, smooth, and unblemished.  

In those moments, I see the truth. Being alive is beautiful. 

I'm so grateful for Pema and what her book has taught me.  

 

Posted
AuthorMako Allen

How much do you like yourself? 

Let's make a poll of it. 

Please leave me a comment about what you answered and why. 

Me, I wavered before answering. On the one hand, I was tempted to say 8, because I love that I'm kind, and I'm proud of my accomplishments. 

It's that very pride though that made me want to pick 3, because I know I can be an attention whore, love the spotlight, too. So I averaged them, which came out to 6, and then laughing, gave myself another point, for accepting my own human foibles.  

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AuthorMako Allen
CategoriesDaily Think
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While it COULD be just my brain's inherent pattern matching apparatus, sometimes I feel like the universe reaches right out and socks me in the gut, hard. 

Case in point. Today on my way back from lunch I was crossing under a main road using a somewhat creepy pedestrian tunnel, where I found this sad, poignant abandoned sign.  I snapped a pic, drawn by the despair of such a thing. 

Just a little while before that I had gotten a push message from an app I use, that reminds me of ways to feel more love and joy in my life.  

The combination of the two makes me feel like I got punched, hard. 

Take a look. 

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Next time I see a homeless person on the street, I'm going to make sure I ask them their name, and their story. Then I'm going to LISTEN, too. 

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AuthorMako Allen
CategoriesDaily Think

So I have this close friend, S. ...

She and I have been super close, for ages.  In lots of ways, we're the same.  We both love music, have many of the same friends, and when we spend time together, we delight in one another's company.

Like me, she's insanely busy.  She's in school doing something insanely demanding.

Unlike me, she LOVES Facebook.

Me, not so much.

I could go on at length about why I don't like it, and why she does, but neither thing matters.  

Because being right doesn't matter.  Being right, and $3.50 won't buy you jack squat at a Starbucks.  In their own way, everyone is right, about everything.

I'm a mixture of politically liberal, on social issues, and conservative, on financial ones.  (Even there though, I don't fit the mold of a democrat, or a libertarian.)  I feel individually about individual issues.  Which makes sense, seeing as how I'm an individual.

There's a really big difference between fact and opinion.  Try dividing by zero, or making up a nice rhyming couplet that ends in the word silver, if you think otherwise.  I'm not talking about disagreement over fact.  It's that opinion thing, that's on my mind.

I really do mean it when I say that every opinion everyone has is absolutely, 100% right.  People's opinions are informed by a myriad of factors, including experience, temperament, education, and fear.  There's a zen story I love about how it's possible that all these opinions are right, this one.

That's why, I even though I really do loathe Facebook, I sure do love my friend.

 

 

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
CategoriesDaily Think