So this morning I asked Mama how I ranked, letter grade wise, in being obedient to her.
She gave me a solid B.
Then she told me why. She said that most of the time, I am a really good boy, very obedient. But that sometimes, I delay in obeying, or try to offer a better suggestion in a manner that can often be obstructive, and downright irritating.
What’s more, she said that sometimes, when that happens, she wants nothing more than to take down my pants and underwear and spank my bare bottom.
This made me feel quite a heady mix of emotions, as you might imagine.
I felt a degree of genuine shame over being disobedient, resolve to do better, and I must admit, some degree of arousal about the entire situation.
But more than anything else, I felt heaping boatloads of gratitude.
Among the things Mama told me are that she values and desires my obedience and respect for her authority. And that she expects me to largely be subject to it most of the time. Let’s say, 95% of the time.
Every so often, she needs us to be equals, or even for me to take the lead. Which I’m happy to do, because I’m not just her baby boy, I’m also her husband.
But, unless she specifically tells me otherwise, she’s in charge. Period, end of story, done.
Let me tell you, dear reader, how very meaningful that is to me. It fulfills me in a deep abiding way, that is as much about being emotionally supported and validated as it is about sexy interactions. Really, truly, way more of the former than the latter.
Growing up, I was a typical type-a success driven gifted kid. No matter how well I did in school, I could always do better. No matter how excellent my social graces were, or knowledge of the arts, there was always room to improve.
It was exhausting. And it’s an inner narrative I still carry with me to this day.
Yay.
I asked Mama if she would train me to be more obedient and she gave me an absolutely enthusiastic yes.
I just don’t have words enough to describe the depth of my love for her.