#365Gratitude Day 58:Cat Firewall

Even though my girlfriend Alissa lives hundreds of miles away from us, in Chicago, she's really right nearby all the time.  We are more or less constantly connected.  Right after I wake up and say "oh good another one", it's my habit to ping her, via a text, or on our slack, or a phone call, or something.

She and I spend just about every morning talking on our ways to work, school, and various errands.  

We regularly play games together via a video conference, Missy, me, Alissa, and her children.  We're deeply entangled, in the nicest way.

It's hard being long distance, but we do the best to minimize the negatives, and create rituals, space, time, and connection.

And it works remarkably well.

Sure, sometimes the Skype call gets fuzzy, or the video conferencing sound gets weird.  And every once in a while, Alissa's cat, Nyla, has to insinuate herself in between us.

When stuff like that happens, we just laugh.

And we keep going the distance.

I love her.

#365Gratitude Day 57:Surfacing

On Sunday, I had a repeat morning.  I languished in bed. Eventually Rachel helped me get up, and get out of my diaper and pajamas.

I got a shower, got dressed, and began to feel human again.

Eventually, I was able to get my act together enough to leave the house to pick up medicine for Missy, and go grocery shopping.

I called Alissa and told her I was feeling back in the world again, almost.  We caught up as I drove around.  I said I felt like I was finally surfacing.

Then after I hung up with her, I actually got all turned around and lost on my way from the pharmacy to the grocery store.

And I just laughed.

It felt good.

#365Gratitude Day 56:Slow Chicken

On Saturday, I woke up around 10 am.  

That's sort of ridiculous for me.  I'm a habitual morning person.  I tend to pop awake around 5 most days, ready to take on the world.

I had a big list of plans: Make sure Missy was in good shape, slip out to the gym for an hour, go grocery shop, work on my side project.

Except for the first part, none of that happened.

I just sort of lay there, exhausted.

And, for a smart person, I can be incredibly dense sometimes.  I felt guilty about it.  I eventually got a shower, and came downstairs to lay on the couch next to Missy, and just be near her and not do anything.

I lamented aloud about how useless I was or some such and my sister-in-law, MB gently, lovingly gave me the what-for.  I'm paraphrasing here, but it was something like, "Uh, duh, Mako, you had like the worst day ever yesterday.  You're allowed to do nothing."

Lightbulb!

She was right.  So, I eased up and allowed myself permission to just take things slow.

About an hour later, the doorbell rang.  It was our girl Rachel.  And she had brought Peruvian rotisserie chicken.  Like, a lot of it.

That's a lot of chicken.

And she stayed over, and helped take care of Missy, and me, too.

I was so very, very grateful for it.

#365Gratitude Day 55:The best medicine

On Friday, Missy had knee surgery, an ACL repair.

It was a long, harrowing day.  

I did my best to be a good surgery wingman.  We got out of the house very early, showing up at what turned out to be the wrong surgical center, and then made our way to the same group's second site, showing up right on time for her surgery.

And then we waited.  And waited.  And when we were done waiting we then waited some more.  We got a brief scare about whether or not our insurance would cover the anesthesiologist.  I hopped on the phone and straightened it out.

Along the way I kept up a steady stream of texts, posts on social media, and joking around, to keep the stress at bay, keep Missy laughing and feeling okay.

We played Words with Friends.  I sent her goofy messages.

Eventually they took her back.

After she was prepped for surgery, I went to find something to eat, and to get her something for when she woke up in recovery.

She really wanted french fries.

I got her french fries.

I ended up eating them because she was in way too much pain, and way too nauseous for food.

I distracted her with more laughter.

Eventually, I got her home, and safely into a recliner stacked with blankets, where MB and I hovered over her, until she could finally sleep.

It was a long day, but I got us both through it with laughter and care.

#365Gratitude Day 54:Noteworthy

Not the actual drawing, but you get the idea

Yesterday I got started on something new at work, and was puzzling it out with several co-workers.  I have this little whiteboard at my desk, and was using it to illustrate how I thought the whole thing would be put together.

After some lively discussion, we reached some degree of consensus about it.  I realized that verbalizing what we were doing, my idea of it, and the related factors just hadn't been enough.

I don't usually draw stuff out like that, but it was so helpful.  And it got me thinking about keeping an open mind about trying new things, taking a different perspective, trying to learn differently.

I'm grateful I can keep an open mind.  It does me a lot of good.