I have this friend Kim. She's very nice.
She's in some deep water, and could use help.
Sickness, misfortune, car accident, work mishaps have all swirled together into a hurricane of bad luck.
Let's bail the water out of her tiny boat together, ok? She doesn't need much. If we all just pitch in a little, we can make it better.
My friend Teddy shared a poem with me today, by Edward Leary.
The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five-pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
"O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are,
You are,
You are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are!"
Here's a link to the poem in its entirety.
On and off for years, I haven't. My dad, who was not a good guy, really, really soured the holiday for me. Then, as I grew older and found more of my own identity, the outright crass commercialism of it just didn't appeal to me.
Sometimes, I do snap out of it. I've had good christmases before, with loved ones. I'm gradually making Christmas my own, celebrating it my own way.
That happened some more today.
I'm lying in bed, just drowsing, when I get this surprise email from our girl, Valentalae. She bought me the video game Undertale! (And the soundtrack too, because she's awesome like that.)
I thank her right away, and tell Missy too, and just lay there awash in the generalized schmoopiness of the moment. Then Missy and I get to texting (because she's at work) about various Christmas plans we have, gifts we have gotten, gifts we have yet to get, that sort of thing.
And I loved every moment of it. I loved the feeling of picking out nice things for people I love dearly. I love being the object of their affection, too. I love knowing it'll surprise and delight them much as I was just surprised and delighted.
My dad, who died years ago, still casts a shadow on my life, sometimes. The shadow got smaller today.
And I told Vee as much. We had this lovely little text exchange.
Me: Aww! Thank you Vee! (She just got me a video game called Undertale for Christmas!)
Missy: Awe......that's sweet
Vee: There's more. :)
Me: :) darn you little girl I'm actually enjoying Christmas!
Vee: ...Oops! 🤗
It's like I have my own personal ghosts of Christmas Present. Lots of them.
Here, I've made Muppet Ghost of Christmas Present tell Ebeneezer, "We'll have a nice Christmas dinner..." (representing Vee) to which Mr. Scrooge (yep, me) replies, "And then afterwards how about I put the Christmas pudding down your underpants?"
I found this neat app called Recolor. It's essentially a mobile app coloring book for adults.
I find it super soothing. I've always been a verbal, not a visual sort of person, and artist. This thing makes coloring so fun and easy.
Here's what I made with it.
So this has been a tough week for me.
I had a house disaster, been sucked into a drama-filled friend-disaster, too.
It's been sucky.
But, I didn't have to endure it alone. My family and I dealt with the house disaster together, and leaned on one another effectively and efficiently. I learned a lot about myself and how I function during a crisis, and my relationship to my family members during said crisis.
Good stuff.
My more-than-friend Squee has been my friend-drama-disaster-buddy and it's knit us together nicely. We're really, really tight.
I wrote in my last entry about how the idea of nonduality has become this enormous thing in my life, and it's affecting everything from my politics to my diet. One big thing has come out of all this banding-together-through adversity.
I've written before about the tale of the chinese farmer, and how things aren't good and aren't bad.
If you haven't heard it before, be my guest. It's great.
But I also had a level-up about it. today. When it comes to our experience, nonduality matters. The things we experience, which are immensely complex, and cannot be simply reduced to "good thing" and "bad thing" are part of that non-dualistic experience.
That is a beautiful thing. I've learned more about myself this week, and about my relationships to other people, because of the fortunate misfortune we've been moving through, together.
I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful for them. I'm grateful for you.
