This is a really good day. I'm actually enjoying Christmas.
On and off for years, I haven't. My dad, who was not a good guy, really, really soured the holiday for me. Then, as I grew older and found more of my own identity, the outright crass commercialism of it just didn't appeal to me.
Sometimes, I do snap out of it. I've had good christmases before, with loved ones. I'm gradually making Christmas my own, celebrating it my own way.
That happened some more today.
I'm lying in bed, just drowsing, when I get this surprise email from our girl, Valentalae. She bought me the video game Undertale! (And the soundtrack too, because she's awesome like that.)
I thank her right away, and tell Missy too, and just lay there awash in the generalized schmoopiness of the moment. Then Missy and I get to texting (because she's at work) about various Christmas plans we have, gifts we have gotten, gifts we have yet to get, that sort of thing.
And I loved every moment of it. I loved the feeling of picking out nice things for people I love dearly. I love being the object of their affection, too. I love knowing it'll surprise and delight them much as I was just surprised and delighted.
My dad, who died years ago, still casts a shadow on my life, sometimes. The shadow got smaller today.
And I told Vee as much. We had this lovely little text exchange.
Me: Aww! Thank you Vee! (She just got me a video game called Undertale for Christmas!)
Missy: Awe......that's sweet
Vee: There's more. :)
Me: :) darn you little girl I'm actually enjoying Christmas!
Vee: ...Oops! 🤗
It's like I have my own personal ghosts of Christmas Present. Lots of them.