#365Gratitude Day 39: Fortunately Forced Out

Saturday night didn't work out so well for me. I went to bed with job related woes on my mind, and around 3:30 in the morning my brain said, "That's it for sleep this time. You are done."​

Ick. ​

I stayed up talking to friends on Twitter, watching Big Hero 6 for like the 4th time in 3 days, and generally just obsessing in fine Samsara style in the dark. ​

Missy had to work too, and had slept in the other room, leaving Kate and I to share the bed in ours. She came in around 5:30 to find me awake, and begged me to try to get back to sleep.​

I tried, I really did. 

I crept downstairs, where Missy cuddled and reassured me before she had to go. ​

​When Kate got up, she saw what a sleep deprived mess I was and took care of me. We spent a day of quiet, quality time together that made me feel much better. 

But I was still a spoonless, cranky mess around lunch time. Her partner Ollie was also down here visiting our magnificent mutual friend Tasha.  They wanted to meet up for lunch, but I said I wanted to stay home, because I felt like a Cranky McCrabbypants. 

Kate wouldn't hear of it, and convinced me that it would be good for me. She said she was buying and to just get ready to go, because I basically had no choice in the matter. ​

I caved. ​

I'm glad I did. It was good to get out of the house, good to spend time with friends, good to eat two-flavor Phoenix shrimp (because, delicious), and good to let myself let go and be taken care of by other people.  

I can't remember if it was Kate, Tasha, or Ollie who at one point pointed out to me that I can kind of suck at that.  I do a lot of introspection (hence this blog), and talk a lot of talk about mindfulness and self-actualization, but we're not islands. People are social animals. 

Later in the day Ollie and I had a long talk about that. It reminded me of a great book I love, and which I recommended to her, Spider Robinson's Callahan's Cross-Time Saloon.  

That book is the source of Callahan's Law: 

"Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased—thus do we refute entropy."

Thanks for the reminder.

#365Gratitude Day 38: Metasharkshower

Our girl Kate is down to visit us this weekend. When we got up, Missy, as is often her habit, encouraged Kate and I to go take a shower, together. 

I love showering with my intimate friends and partners.  It's kind of sexual for me, and kind of not. When you're covered in body wash, shampoo, and water and naught else with someone, it has a way of making you very close, and not just physically. 

At one point Kate and I noticed that my love for all things shark related had looped us into this strangely meta, self-referential experience.

In the shower she had used one of my shark themed bath poufs to soap me up, afterward had wrapped me up in my shark hoodie towel, and was drying me off, and using the towel on a shark tattoo I have. 

We both laughed, feeling a weird Inception-like moment about it.  

It was great.  

#365Gratitude Day 37: Homecoming

I'm not going to lie, my life's been a little turbulent lately.  Finding a new job while still working my old one is both a blessing and a curse, at times.  

One thing that's come out of it is I'll get struck by these spontaneous moments of excessive gratitude.  Like Friday when I got home from work, and Missy was there waiting for me. 

There's something very warm, comforting and reassuring about coming home to her. She's always glad to see me, always ready with open arms. 

Wherever she is, that's where home is, to me.  

#365Gratitude Day 36: Gratitude for Matti's 'Tude

I first got to know my friend Matti at the Littles Express, back in November.  He's a listener to the Big Little Podcast, and when we first met, he aditted to me that he was actually a bit hesitant to approach me.  That's not because I'm some scary person, but rather because the podcast has this weird, magnifying effect, that makes it seem like I'm Some Very Important Person™ instead of the regular guy I am.​

I really don't think of myself as better or above anyone else.  I do cop to the fact that I know being on the podcast, and in front of classes, vocal in front of the crowd, does make me something of a public figure, and that the things I say and do effect others.​

I believe with every fiber of my being that we are all each other's student and teacher, that there are countless ineffable links connecting and uniting us all.  One of the reasons I blog, and why I'm so open about my life and feelings on the podcast is because I feel a calling to share my own emotional, mental, spiritual, and philosophical growth.  I want to make my own journey open to others, so that they can use it for their own advantage if they want to. ​

Which brings me back to Matti.  He's a lovely, quirky sort of person.  He's very tall.  He's covered in tattoos.  He used to be a very angry guy, and that could make him scary.  But he's not.  He's anything but.  He's sweet, funny, gentle, and kind.  He regularly wears silly hats, and overalls.  He likes to bring joy into people's day.   

He wrote this thing about how and why he's become this gentle giant.  It knocked me out.  Because he credits things he learned from me.   (Which I learned in turn from others, like Pema Chodron, Viktor Frankl, Alan Watts, Gloria Brame, and my brother.)

What he wrote is beautiful.  I'm grateful for it, and him.  Check out  what he wrote for yourself.  

#365Gratitude Day 35: Just 10 minutes

Yesterday I got home from work with the intention of working on a techie side project of mine.  There are all sorts of good reasons to do that. ​

My side project is pretty cool. I won't describe it here because it's part of my vanilla life, which I try to keep separate. But once I get this thing working it could actually make me a little money on the side. ​

Plus, it's great practice, which in turn is good for my career. I get to work with technologies I want, and then show them off to potential employers. ​

But I wasn't feeling it. ​

I got on the phone with my brother, who is a tireless supporter for me. He's often the emotional kickstand for my brain bicycle, I lean on him when I need to pause and asses which direction I want to go next. ​

He asked me to spend just 10 minutes on the project. Just tinker a bit.  

I did. That 10 minutes turned into about three hours of fulfilling work.  

Thanks, brother. Love you.