My sister-in-law Marybeth is something of a mother hen. She likes caring for others and it comes naturally to her.
I've been the fortunate recipient of that kindness on many occasions. Each time it happens it surprises and delights me.
Swam for an hour last night. Glad I did. Today it's a snowy mess outside!
At 4:50am
At 4:50 am I am awake.
Before the alarm clock, or the sun rise.
My mind is a whirl with the day's possibilities.
Yet the bed is warm. My diaper is wet. And your sleeping form next to me, so inviting.
So instead of getting up, I roll towards you.
Half asleep, you lift your arm, welcome me into your embrace.
Then, when I'm firmly under your arm, you lock it in place, holding me down.
Without words, you tell me that these few scant minutes belong not to the day ahead, but to you.
I fuss a bit, struggle, as is my way, enjoying the way you hold me.
And you whisper, gently, but firmly, "Be still."
Which means you love me.
I love you, too.
Today at the gym, I was swimming and listening to a new book, The Magic of Awareness. It's about mindful attention and enlightenment.
It's pretty great so far. I was 35 minutes into what I meant to be a 1 hour swim when the lifeguard came and threw me out of the pool, because the building was having electrical problems.
No problem, I thought and grabbed a shower amongst the oddly flickering lights of the semi-dark locker room.
As I was finishing up, the lights cut out completely except for the emergency ones.
This turned out to be a big problem. My locker is locked with a multi dial combination lock.
One thing that book I was listening to talked about was how enlightenment is the state of being no one, and having nothing.
Standing in the dark, naked except for a towel, with only my goggles, iPod, and a soaked bathing suit was fairly close to that.
Another man entered the locker room and I asked him if he could put the beam from his cell phone on my lock. He did, saying something about his being happy to shine a light for me.
I started laughing, a lot.
Then I explained why.
From swimming today.