#365Gratitude Day 9: Getting out of a jam with style

So today didn't start out so good.  Actually, yesterday didn't end so great, either.  When I got home from work, our internet was out, as was our television service.  (They're the same provider.)  This wouldn't be an enormous issue, except for the fact that we're recording a podcast tonight.

I tried calling the company early this morning to get them to come out today to fix the darn thing, but no such luck. 

I was in a big jam.

I had lunch with my good friend Tasha today.  Aside from being perfectly lovely, very smart, and a prize-winning pony from Camp Crucible (multiple years), she's also an exceptionally generous person.  She invited me to come over to her house, hang out in her LEGO ROOM (yes, she has one.), have dinner, and record the podcast from her house, on HER broadband.

I'm grateful for my awesome friend.  Did I mention she's also cooking me dinner?

I'm going to go gratefully eat it now.

Thanks Tasha!

#365Gratitude Day 8: Supple AND Firm

I get a lot out of reading the Tao te Ching, and really love the Stephen Mitchell translation of it.  A big part of taoist practice is taking one's cues for behavior and action from nature.  Sometimes those cues seem almost contradictory.  Take this verse:​

10

Can you coax your mind from its wandering
and keep to the original oneness?
Can you let your body become
supple as a newborn child's?
Can you cleanse your inner vision
until you see nothing but the light?
Can you love people and lead them
without imposing your will?
Can you deal with the most vital matters
by letting events take their course?
Can you step back from you own mind
and thus understand all things?

Giving birth and nourishing,
having without possessing,
acting with no expectations,
leading and not trying to control:
this is the supreme virtue.

​How the heck could anyone ever get anything done, if they acted that way?  Because that kind of flexibility, and being easygoing, that kind of being supple isn't the opposite of firmness, or dedication, but rather its complement.  You work with what you have, not what you wish you had.

Case in point.  This morning it was really, really cold.  I had a hard time getting up as early as I wanted to, and I needed to go to the gym.  I packed my bag so I could go to the gym branch near my work.  Missy reminded me that the trash had to go out, too.  I knew I'd have to take a slightly later train, and was really tempted to skip the workout.  But I chose not to.  Instead, I resolved to get into work a little later, and work a later day.  I got in a good half hour swim (bringing me up to 7.5 of my 365 miles, by the way, right on schedule).​

It was a bit miserable dragging my gym stuff on the train, dealing with a second bag, and the very cold weather. 

But after the swim, and a very hot shower, I was really glad I had done it.  My head was clear, and I felt really positive and ready to attack the work of the day when I got to my desk. 

I'm grateful that I can adjust, compromise, and still stay on track towards goals I want.  It feels good to be supple and firm. 

#365Gratitude Day 7: Helping

So I've missed two trains so far this morning.  It's been totally worth it.  Why?  Because around 6am, I got a direct message from a friend on twitter.  They needed my help.  The particular what that my friend needed doesn't matter, and it's private.  But they were struggling with their feelings, their decisions, their perspective.  

So they sought me out.

We tweeted back and forth until I had to take my shower, and then as soon as that was done, we got on the phone.  

First train missed.

While I was on the phone with friend 1, a second friend texted me, struggling with their own heavy thoughts about their own heavy issue.  I texted with them at the same time as I talked to my first friend!  (Who says I can't multitask?) Eventually though, I got my first friend in a good place about their feelings and actions, hung up with them, and got on with my second friend.

Second train missed.  

Didn't matter.  We talked for a while, and I helped them get to a better place about their stuff.  As I'm writing this, I'm working myself right out of missing a third train.

Still doesn't matter.  (There's a last train I can catch, so that's okay - or I might even drive.)

Why none of this matters is because of something I know, something about me.  Helping others is a large part of what makes life worth living, to me.  It's part of my purpose, part of my meaning.  

I helped raise my first wife's son from her previous marriage for around 8 years.  I loved helping him learn to read.  I took great joy in taking care of him.  We did homework together.  He had a horrible relationship with his biological father at the time.  I made it a priority to be the best stepdad I could be.  It made me very happy to do so.  

This stuff this morning, it's the same.  Helping others is part of my root meaning for living.

There's a school of therapy that resonates strongly with me because of these ideas.  It's called logotherapy.  It was developed by an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist named Viktor Frankl.  I learned of it from his book, Man's Search for Meaning.  (Do read it.)  

The basic concept behind it is that the primary motivational force of an individual is to find a meaning in their life. It has some basic tenets too.  Life has meaning, no matter how bad one's life is.  Subconsciously, our driving purpose is finding that meaning.  We have the freedom, power, and choice to find our life's meaning in the things we do, experience, and even suffer.  

In his book, Frankl said how we go about discovering our meaning:

"We can discover this meaning in life in three different ways:
(1) by creating a work or doing a deed;
(2) by experiencing something or encountering someone; and
(3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering"

Furthermore he added that "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances"

THAT is why it doesn't matter that I missed a few trains, or that I'm going to wind up working out for lunch.  Because I know, in my heart, that being of service to others when and where I can is one of the defining meanings of my life.  I'm grateful for it.

#365Gratitude Day 6: A warm coat & hat on a snowy day...and a warmth within

I'm wearing the new hat Rachel made for me for Christmas, along with a very warm coat I bought myself more than a decade ago. 

That's a good thing, too, because it's snowing today. 

As I drove to the station today, my car's brakes slipped once in the snow, and I had to gently tap them to come to a stop at an intersection. 

I made it to the station in time to catch the train without having to run for it.

The wind was cold, and the sky dim and bleak.  A long distance train came rushing down the tracks, blowing enormous clouds of windswept snow along in its wake. 

I was glad for my coat, glad for my hat, glad I had arrived there safe, glad I was going to make the train.  

All that gratitude made me happy.  

That's the funny thing about gratitude. I used to think you felt gratitude when you were happy. But it's actually the other way around.  

There's actually research that this is so. Brother David Steindl-rast, a Swiss Benedictine monk and interfaith scholar is part of a project doing that research.  

I'm grateful I know about the research, and what it means to me, personally. It keeps me as warm inside as this coat and hat do, outside. 

365 miles: 6.5 miles

Swam again tonight, for 45 minutes.  

That was a good burn. There's this thing that always happens to me after I exercise, but especially  after swimming. My vision becomes super sharp for a little while. I love that feeling.  

It's like the real world equivalent of getting a power-up in a video game.