#365Gratitude Day 82:Trafficking in Expensive Mindfulness Lessons

Whew, what a morning.

So I got out the door later than I wanted, and thought to myself, "all right, it's too late for the gym, but I can ride the express lanes and get to work early, and that'll work out just fine."

Not so much.

First, traffic was INSANE.  So much so that the variable toll lanes were really expensive.  I saw tolls for $14, $15, and then $15.  I ended up paying somewhere between $35 - $55.

Yes, really.

To add insult to injury, something went really bad on the trip, some accident I didn't see, or major police thing.  My normally 35 minute commute (when I do it after 9), turned into a 90 minute one.

Ugh.

However, I got to have this really nice long call with Squee.  She totally got me laughing, and aware that I had options for how I felt, and that I could be present, stay.  I didn't have to spend the ride feeling angry, or sorry for myself, or any of that silly crap.

So, I resolved not to dwell on it.  Then, when I finally did get to my office, I bopped on down to the deli and picked myself up a nice cup of fancy coffee, and a bagel with lox.  So good.

And, the whole experience taught me something.  It's really okay to use my time the way I feel I should.  That means waking up at 5, hopping (or stepping carefully, because safety) out of bed, going downstairs, spending an hour working on my side-project, then getting out of my night-time diaper, grabbing a shower (slippery little buggers), and heading for the gym to walk, run, or swim.

THEN I can get on my way to work, and get there AFTER nine.  That's not only okay, it's SENSIBLE, and mindful.

Best $50 I have spent recently.

#365Gratitude Day 77:Napfrubble with Richard

Richard came up today to help us pick up a china cabinet we bought.  After we moved it, and had some breakfast, he's stayed over for a while.  Right now, as I'm writing this, he's on Mommy's lap, on the couch, snoring peacefully, as she and I watch Moana.  She (Mommy, not Moana) is stroking his forehead, and cuddling him, and it's got me feeling all warm inside.

I love him.  Missy loves him.  I love that she does.  His spending time with us is making me very happy.

#365Gratitude Day 74:Funny... also funny

I love to laugh.  Two things gave me the giggles yesterday.

First, I went out to lunch with some co-workers, to a dumpling restaurant.  The garbage can at the restaurant had a little OCD labelling that made me snicker.

"Trash... Also Trash"

Now that was surely accidental humor.

But later in the day, some friends of mine on the podcast slack introduced me to some intentional humor, a tumblr blog called LiarTownUSA.  LiarTown is the often NSFW creation of humorist graphic designer Sean Tejaratchi.

I laughed myself into a fit last night over some of the stuff on there.  For example:

"Confusing Premise" porn magazine cover, featuring a man watching another man forced to look at a painting of two nuns kissing, by another woman.  What fetish is this exactly?

Then there's this little gem:

"The What...How.. Wonder Book of HORSECRIME."  Ridiculous.  Amazing.

But the thing that started this whole thing, that got folks on the slack talking about the site, was the movie poster for The Legend of Diaper Horse.  No, I'm not kidding.

So silly.  It's rapidly become my favorite tumblr.  

#365Gratitude Day 71:Shelfish Cargo

One thing Missy and I have needed to do for ages was replace my old bookshelves.  When we moved we lost a key piece, the cross-braces that made my old shelves able to stand without tipping over.  Missy had wanted to try to fix them, but I told her that the shelves had had a good run, and we needed to just replace them.  (As it turns out, I had had those shelves over twenty years, so it really was time for them to go!)

Anyhow, we finally had the magic combination of available funds and time to do something about it on Sunday.  We had our eyes on this certain set of shelves up at IKEA, and went to get them.

We ended up getting two of the narrow shelves, one of the big ones, and drawers for all of them.

I was a little concerned we were going to have to break our budget by getting them delivered.  IKEA flat packs everything, but these suckers were tall, and came in a lot of boxes.

Nope.

When we went to load up my car, they all fit perfectly.  

I know that's a very silly, small sort of thing to be grateful for.  It's not the cure for frigging cancer or anything.  But sometimes gratitude is about small things.  

#365Gratitude Day 67:Practice makes... practice

So I was contemplating reality and the path of practice in the shower this morning, like you do.

It's a buddhist temple... and a pun!

As my friend Fiona might say, "wat?"

Practice is such a confusing idea.  On the one hand, there's the "do it, get better until you're perfect" meaning.  On the other there's the "Have a thing you do regularly, keep doing it regularly" meaning.

Mindfulness is waaaay more that second one than the first one.

As you may have noticed, this is day 67 of my daily gratitude practice.  My blog seems to be missing eight days.  It's not that I didn't have a thing I was grateful for each day.  I most certainly did.  There was this awesome dirty illustration tumblr I found, some nice emails I got, hearing back from an illustrator I like, seeing a friend I thought might be dead making progress in his health, some gains at work, connection with my partners, all sorts of things.

But I didn't write them down.

Why?  I'm honestly not sure.  It could have been exhaustion. (I've been pretty wracked lately.)  It could have been being off my routines.  Whatever.  It doesn't matter.  Why doesn't it matter? Because philosophical practice isn't about perfection, it's about application.

So, these past several days I've been "off my practice", I actually wasn't.  I put it aside so I could pick it right back up again.  There's no chastisement needed.  It's not a problem.  It's just living.

You do.  And then you do some more.  Sometimes you do it great.  Sometimes you don't.  Keep on going.  Or, as I love to say, "no starting, no stopping, only doing."