#365Gratitude Day 24:Talkmagic

Tuesday night Missy and I spent a really big chunk of time just sitting and talking to each other.  The details of the what that we talked about don't matter here (and are private anyhow).

What's big is the talking itself.  We talked about things we think, hope, feel, and struggle with.  And when I say we talked, I mean it.  Missy shared deep thinky things.  I listened.  Then I shared some deep talky things.  She listened.

It was magical.  We felt supertotal connected.  We went to bed even more cuddly than we normally are.  (And let me tell you people, we are some damn cuddly folks to begin with.)

We woke up still feeling that sense of more-powerful-connection.

Missy and I have been together more than a decade.  We've been married nine years.  It's easy to grow complacent, make assumptions, rely on the connection you already have.  But when you talk and actively reach for one another, it's like everything's shiny, new, and possible all over again.

I'm so grateful for my amazing wife.

#365Gratitude Day 23:My new teacher, Mr. Wood

Mr. Wood isn't a person.  It's a paddle, this one:

Squee had me name him for her after she used him to give me a spanking for some things I did while I was visiting, as well as one she gave me just because we were playing.

Mr. Wood is stingy, with a bit of thud.  In Squee's capable hand he's a very good teacher.

Why he's my gratitude for that day is because of this thing he represents about Squee, and about our relationship.  So much of what we do is sexually stimulating, exciting, arousing.  But that's only one part of it.  It's also incredibly nurturing and emotionally validating.  Our relationship involves us mutually helping one another to learn about one another, and to grow, both individually and together.  

It's very real, and very good.

I love her so.

#365Gratitude Day 21:32518 Whoo!

Saturday was quite a day.  It was like several days combined into one.

First, there was how it started.  I woke up at three am.  This was so I could get to the airport by five for my 6 am flight.

That was the plan anyhow.  

On my way to the airport, I missed my exit, and then when I finally got there, there were two police cars blocking the only entrance to terminal A's garage, having pulled over another car in front of it.  I ended up getting routed through the "rental cars only" parking lot, which as the sign said, was only for rental cars.  So, I had to explain myself, and then get allowed to go through it, and out.  After which I drove around the airport, back towards the blocked garage to my terminal, and then parked one terminal over.  This was around 5:00am.  Not good.  I park, grab my suitcase, and head for the bottom level of the garage to wait for the airport shuttle.

And waited.  

After a bit, I realized this wasn't going to work.  So I hopped on the elevator, took the walkway across to terminal B, and then proceeded to run like hell across the terminal, wearing my heavy backpack, dragging my heavy suitcase, all the way to the connecting passage to terminal A.  I do this, working myself up into a huge sweat, and come pounding up to the check-in kiosks.  A woman sees me coming, and cooly steps in front of me, taking the kiosk I'm aiming for, giving me a look and saying, "Well, I'm taking it."

Fine I think, and move to another.  Whatever.  I scan the boarding pass on my phone and the terminal lights up, and makes these awful loud WHOOP WHOOP noises, alerting me that I'm a late check-in, that my bag will probably NOT make it to my destination on time, that I have poor judgment, and probably enjoy Nickelback albums.  (Okay, not that last part.)

The woman who cut me off is at the kiosk next to me, and gets visibly pale, realizing that she has contributed to this, and goes to apologize to me.  I wave her off, not really having time to listen to her apology.  I put not one, but two of the big yellow "LATE CHECKIN" tags on my bag.

The nice folks at the counter take my bag, and assure me they'll do my best, and tell me to head to the gate.

And my bag did in fact, make it there.  

The rest of the day was way more restful, but equally jam packed. 

Squee was there to pick me up, and we hugged, kissed, and generally made our way to the car very slowly, just happy to be with one another.  We spent several hours of blissfully, and well-needed alone time together, before going to pick up the kids from various places.  Once the five of us were all successfully reunited we headed to a Korean grocery store called H-Mart.  We were there to pick up treats before our next stop.

That grocery store was amazing.  It was filled with all sorts of exotic goodies, including green tea kit-kat candy bars.  (They're amazing.)  I have had these previously, sent to us by a relative of mine from Japan.  I didn't think you could get them here in the US!  And the store had all these little "mini-stores" in it too. It was like a grocery mall.  One of the stores, LG Beauty and Health had a display of products that accurately sums up my feelings about this whirlwind of a day.

"Whoo" products.  Whoo day!

Once we had bought the sufficient amount of kit-kats, pop-rocks, and chapaghetti, we headed to our next stop, a nearby Korean Spa called King Spa.  It was wonderful.  Squee and her daughters headed one way, and her son and I headed the other.  He didn't opt for all the hot-tub stuff, but headed right out to the main area.  

I did though.  I dipped myself in scalding hot water, and then freezing cold water.  It was bracing.  I think I made that "whoo" sound a few times.  I also struck up some nice conversations with random strangers.  

One of those conversations with one of those strangers was even about how I was in town visiting my girlfriend, and how we were poly, and isn't that wonderful.  I told him about the awesome Christopher Ryan book Sex at Dawn, all about polyamory.  It was all pleasant and nice until it suddenly got super creepy.  As I go to get out of the hot tub, the guy says, "That's so much good information, you should e-mail me it all.  I'll give you my address."  "I'd be happy to give you the name of the book again, sure," I said noncommittally, as my radar started going off.  "But I've got to go meet my girlfriend and the family now."

"Oh," he said, "they're here?  I'm very social, we should hang out sometime."  

"Gotta go," I said.  In case you were wondering, that's my polite way of saying, "Please don't skin me alive and turn me into a sandwich, kthxbai!"

I get my spa-pajamas on, and beat it out of there.

Eventually I get back with the rest of the family, and we have an amazing time.  We go in various sauna rooms together.  The girls particularly liked the ice room, which was black-lit, making our teeth and toenails glow.  Squee and I liked the infra-red room where you lay on these mats under infra-red lights, which are in a sort of cubby hole built into and under the wall.  It felt like being on a spaceship.

Then we all had an amazingly good dinner there.  (mmm, galbi.)  

After that, we found a place to sit and play cards, Crazy Eights, specifically.

This was actually the highlight of my entire day.  I had left my phone behind in the locker room, and I'll admit, I'm fairly addicted to it.  But I wasn't missing it at all.  Squee, the kids, and I had a fantastic time sitting there, playing, goofing around, and just enjoying one another's company.  It was simple.  It was easy.  It was wonderful.  

We played for a while, and then moved on to check out the rest of the place.  Too late for my own good, I find their movie room, with these big squishy, body-eating chairs you can lay in and watch movies on a big screen.  Next time we go to King Spa, I'm totally doing that.

Just as we were getting ready to go get dressed, Creepy Hot Tub Guy walks up to me and hands me his business card, right as Squee's youngest and I are sitting waiting for everyone else in the family.  

I take the card, he waves and leaves, and she looks at me and says, "Who was that Mako?"  I say he was some guy from the hot tubs, and show her the card, and we both sort of laugh.  

Later, I show the card to Squee and tell her the story, and she laughs, as she tells me to make sure to throw that thing away, and not email him.

Both of which I did.

Eventually, we went home, and everyone went to bed, including me.

For which, after such a jam-packed day, I was very, very grateful.

#365Gratitude Day 20: It does go on

Friday night we recorded the latest episode of the podcast, another Around the World show. We had guests from Germany, Austria, Scotland, Ireland, and England.  It went great!

We've been doing the show for just shy of five years now.  Over the years we have added a live audience, a private all-the-time chat room, recorded weekly, reduced our recording schedule, used Skype, ditched Skype, started a transcription program for episodes, revisited topics, all sort of progress and change. 

Proud podcasting hat

And we're still going. And it never gets old to me. Each time the process excites me. From the first moment of brainstorming the topic, to the last second of doing the Kermit-arms wave with our guests it never gets old.  

#365Gratitude Day 19:Toll Call

This one is kind of heavy.

A few days ago I got a call from a friend I had lost touch with, someone I hadn't spoken to in the better part of ten years.  Let's call him J.

During that ensuing time, we would see each other in passing, in various social media places, but it was the sort of super casual, wave at one another from a distance sort of thing that has little to no value.  These were the fun-size snickers bar of connection - barely any at all.

Which is why when J told me what he had going on, I was floored.  He's sick. So sick that he's getting a very scary surgery so that he doesn't die.  The surgery he's getting has a 85% mortality rate.  If he pulls through it, the post-surgical complications and original co-morbidities of his disease will most likely leave him in a permanent care facility, a convalescent home, for the rest of his life.

The reason he was calling me was to say goodbye, and to tell me how much our friendship has meant to him over the years.  He told me he was calling everyone who meant something to him, so he could do that.

Yeah, like I said, heavy.  After we were done talking, I cried.

Yesterday at work I was thinking about him and realized that a mutual friend of ours, R. had also been out of touch with him for the same amount of time.  I texted him, and told him what was up, and gave him J's phone number just in case he wanted it.

Which he did.

They talked too.

Later that evening, on my way home, R. and I spent a good hour catching up.  We talked about our lives, talked about our mutual friend.  We caught up on how we were doing, talked about mindfulness, and kindness.  It was good.

I don't know what will happen to J.  I'm worried for him, and about him.  But I'm glad I could help him at least a bit to reconnect with others, and get some reconnection of my own in the process.