I've been sick for a while, and it knocked me for a big loop. Everything habitual and systematic I've been doing went right out the window. Mindful eating, decent sleep, regular exercise all got canned.
I finally feel better though. Spent some time writing a day or so ago, which is always a good sign, for me. And today, just now in fact, I swam for a half hour.
I'm so grateful for this. Grateful I can do it. Grateful that the doing of it is enough. Grateful that the choice I make in this moment is the most, in fact the only choice that matters.
There's a Buddhist term for this, shoshin, or "Beginner's Mind." It means embracing the moment, being eager to be present and participate wholly in whatever life has for you.
Every time I experience this feeling, I'm grateful for it, and every time it feels like it's the very first time I feel it.
That's because, in a very real way, it is the first time.