So sometimes I enjoy chatting on Omegle, a sort of chat-brokering-service that lets people chat with one another anonymously.
I enjoy chatting there for a number of reasons. Sometimes, it's fun to just randomly talk to another person with absolutely no context whatsoever. Every once in a while I'll enjoy role-play with some random out of the blue stranger. You can set the system to connect you to people with like-minded interests.
Just this morning, I set up for just such a chat, as a way to get my juices flowing for some writing later in the day. I wound up talking to someone in Australia about their desire for pegging.
What I didn't know would happen was that it would become a great lesson in the unexpected benefits of exercising compassion.
One thing that happens a lot on Omegle is that when you get connected to the other party, they'll open the discussion by asking you the dreaded "ASL?" question. That's short for: What's your age, sex, and location?
It's very irritating. It's usually shorthand for "I'm a straight man, and unless you are a woman, and have a pussy I can put my penis into, and are nearby, I don't want to talk to you."
I tend to skewer folks who "ASL" me on Omegle, in various funny, often mean spirited ways. But today, for whatever reason, I chose to do otherwise.
When my yet-to-be-friend asked me the dreaded question, I explained to him why I wasn't going to answer it.
Then, I dominated the conversation and insisted that they tell me what their interest in female domination was exactly, since that was the shared topic that Omegle had used to put us together.
As it turns out, it was about pegging. Which I know a little something about.
We talked about it some, but then things really got interesting.
Stranger: see i have a girlfriend of about 6 months
Stranger: and i'm afraid to ask
My soon-to-be-friend, Y. admitted to me that he has been dating a lovely girl, R. for about six months now, and that he really wanted to tell her about all this, but was just too scared to do so.
Now this was my jam. I gave him a lot of good advice about how to bring the stuff up to her with confidence, and not be selfish about it either.
At this point, we were connecting like real people. So I told him who I was. That's when things really got bonkers.
You: You can call me Mako.
You: I'm one of the hosts of a podcast about age play, if you know what that is, called The Big Little Podcast.
You: I've been a male submissive, and an adult baby for years.
You: I'm also an author and a life coach too.
You: I help folks like you all the time.
You: Do you listen to the show? :-)
Stranger: every now and then
Who knew that in this random chat site I'd connect with a listener to the show?! Crazy.
But it helped us to connect as real people, and have a meaningful conversation.
So we got down to it.
We had a good long talk about what he was scared would happen when he told her, and why being scared, and having negative or even positive expectations wasn't doing him any favors. He told me all sorts of lovely things about his relationship with R., which made him (and me) actually pretty hopeful that she would be open and positive to his wanting her to be sexually in charge, and to give-him-what-he-needs-where-he-needed-it.
It was great. It boggles my mind that technology, and the work I do with the podcast, enables me to connect with people thousands of miles away, and help them to live a more fulfilling life.
The thing I'm grateful for, the thing which really rocked me was this - instead of caving into my usual instinct to dismiss someone in a venue filled with people who treat each other like things, I treated him like a person and found out that he was one. Moreover, that he was one who had common cause with me, and whom I could help.
It's amazing to me how when you practice compassion for others, you make the world better, not just for them, but for you. I'm grateful to be back in compassion school, and that my doing so is bettering the world around me as well as for me.