This one is kind of heavy.

A few days ago I got a call from a friend I had lost touch with, someone I hadn't spoken to in the better part of ten years.  Let's call him J.

During that ensuing time, we would see each other in passing, in various social media places, but it was the sort of super casual, wave at one another from a distance sort of thing that has little to no value.  These were the fun-size snickers bar of connection - barely any at all.

Which is why when J told me what he had going on, I was floored.  He's sick. So sick that he's getting a very scary surgery so that he doesn't die.  The surgery he's getting has a 85% mortality rate.  If he pulls through it, the post-surgical complications and original co-morbidities of his disease will most likely leave him in a permanent care facility, a convalescent home, for the rest of his life.

The reason he was calling me was to say goodbye, and to tell me how much our friendship has meant to him over the years.  He told me he was calling everyone who meant something to him, so he could do that.

Yeah, like I said, heavy.  After we were done talking, I cried.

Yesterday at work I was thinking about him and realized that a mutual friend of ours, R. had also been out of touch with him for the same amount of time.  I texted him, and told him what was up, and gave him J's phone number just in case he wanted it.

Which he did.

They talked too.

Later that evening, on my way home, R. and I spent a good hour catching up.  We talked about our lives, talked about our mutual friend.  We caught up on how we were doing, talked about mindfulness, and kindness.  It was good.

I don't know what will happen to J.  I'm worried for him, and about him.  But I'm glad I could help him at least a bit to reconnect with others, and get some reconnection of my own in the process.

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
Categories365 Gratitude

So as I was on my way to work this morning, my car, Appa told me something very specific.

"Beep beep"

Now I know Appa very well, so I knew just what he was telling me, which is that I was almost out of gas.

I was also at least 7 miles away from my office.  I hung up my phone call with Squee, and focused hard on getting to a gas station as directly, quickly, and safely as I could.

And I made it.  Even though my distance-to-empty meter said I had zero miles of fuel left, I was able to get to a station not far from the office.

After I filled up, I drove to the office and worked an intensely busy day.  I am in the middle of a very big project at work, something which is making me stretch technically, is quite challenging, and rewarding too.  I spent the day down in the weeds of many pieces of code, amidst much strategizing and decision making.  At one point I spent about three hours researching if the particular code I was looking at could be kept, or if it would be better to throw it out completely.

It grew dark outside.  Everyone else left.  I kept going.

At a certain point, I realized I was, mentally, out of gas.  I shut down the laptop, packed up and got out of there.

Because I knew the truth: There's a time to be busy and a time to rest.  There's a time to focus on many things, and a time to focus on just one.

When I went outside to my car, I was pleased to see the nearly full tank of gas it had from this morning's misadventure, and I realized it was the small lesson all over again.

I'm glad I know to take the time to refuel.

 

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
Categories365 Gratitude

I got the best piece of fan mail today.

Here, I'll show you:

Hello, Mako!
I just wanted to reach out and say some thanks.
One year ago, I got divorced from the only other age player I've ever known, or even spoken to. My Mommy left a huge hole in my life, and for a long time, I didn't want to even think about my Little brain partition. What changed that for me was two things. A) The Big Little Podcast helped me feel normal and... less like a freak? Yeah. That. B) I just bought and started reading Concerning Littleton today. The first has been a comfort for years, the latter spawned this gushing (Heh...). My sexuality has suffered a lot from the split, but then I was reading the scene where Christina is being undressed for her first diapering, and noticed that I was rock hard without having felt a transition. Which... which is not typical for me. S-so...
You and your brother have been such a healing influence in my life over the last few years, but never more than the past couple of months. I'm still isolated in Indiana, far from any munches or Mommies, but you guys have given me hope and comfort for the next couple years that I'm stuck here, and have helped me rediscover myself after something that shook me to my core. The past few weeks especially, I've been happier and more at home in myself than I can remember being since I was little in body, and not just in mind.
Thank you to you and your adorable brother for everything that you do. I can't express what a difference you've made in my life.
I'm your's sincerely,
~Little Chris
PS: No, seriously, this is like the hottest shit I've ever read. FUCK.

Wow.  I wrote him back (and asked him if I could reprint his letter in my blog, to which you can guess the answer.

Man, it feels so damn good to know that this stuff we do, the podcast, my books, that it makes a difference in the world.  Yes, it doesn't hurt being told your writing is hot enough to fry the eyebrows off a yak at fifty paces, that part is great.  But the real big hit is knowing that I set out to make people's lives better, and that it's working.

So grateful.

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
Categories365 Gratitude

Spacey, our friend Fiona, and I have this epic long-running group text thing going, that even has a name.  It's called "Message a Trois", a cute pun on a menage a trois.

We regularly chat about anything and everything.  Our lives, our jobs, our health, our partners, our hopes, our dreams.  It's special.  

We do lots of silly, jokey stuff in there too.  One of those things is we play "autosuggest text roulette."  That's the thing where you start a text message and let the phone suggest words for you, and just keep going until it makes a complete sentence or two.

Today I roulette'd up this little beauty:

Fiona your diaper bag is a good way to get your diaper done with the other people that are actually going to be the other way around.

Fee loved it.  So she drew it up for me as a picture:

I laughed myself silly.

She explained the drawing to me thusly:

"That's mommy changing me in a space diaper, with the purple diaper bag, with the other people who are actually the other way around"

I really adore her.  And told her so.

 

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
Categories365 Gratitude