Mindfulness is a practice, and as such requires nearly constant action. 

But it's easy, even tempting to get lazy and slack off about it.   I've been a student of it for almost a decade now, and still make plenty of mistakes like this. 

But, thankfully, I'm not without help I can turn to.  

Just today, @mindfulleveryday gave me just that kind of help. 

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They tweeted this:

Peace of mind cannot be attained, only obstructed. 

#mindfulness

So true.  Mindfulness does bring much change to my life, often in slow increments, but peace of mind is not one of those slow boils.

It's INSTANTANEOUS, on one condition.  I have to allow that it is so. 

You can't plan to get out of your own way.  You can't regret that you didn't, on pain of still doing it.   

You can't start doing it.  

You can't stop not doing it.  

There is only doing it, or not.  

 

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
Categories365 Gratitude

So, given the source, take it with a grain of salt, but the truth is cats are jerks

I've known this for a while.  My cats, however, think I am totally unaware of this.

Take this morning. I get out of the shower to get affection-dive-bombed by both of them.  

Mako, we LOVE YOU SO MUCH.  Now, about our breakfast....

Mako, we LOVE YOU SO MUCH.  Now, about our breakfast....

I know what the score is. Once that wet cat food is down, Snugglefest 2014 is over.  

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Sadly for the cats, I'm also aware of "The Oxygen Mask Theory."  This is the very wise dictum given by airline staff that, in the event of an emergency, you have to put your own oxygen mask on before you can begin helping anyone else. 

This is great advice, that applies to almost every situation. You see to your own needs, and when you're stable, THEN you can go about helping others.  

Sometimes it's something I struggle with. I like helping people, and often have a tough time saying no, not today, or that it's time for bed for me.  

But my cats, my dear, lovely, selfish, asshole cats, are amazing reminders of the truism that it's okay, even necessary, to say "no" or "later" to others.  Despite Yang's incredibly large eyes, and Yin's heartfelt meowing and purring, I know that they will not, in fact, expire from starvation if I take the time to shave and brush my teeth. 

I'm grateful for this knowledge.  My cats think it sucks. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a toothbrush waiting for me. 

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
Categories365 Gratitude

Yesterday I did something great: 

Nothing.

To be fair, it wasn't completely nothing.  Missy and I went out and did some Ingress stuff.  We did a tiny amount of holiday shopping.  We went to the movies.  (We saw Interstellar, which we loved.)

But really, all of it was without a plan, an agenda, a schedule.  We just kind of chilled out.

This is not my usual fare.  I've always got a hundred things going on: a podcast to plan, studying to do for work, writing to do on my next novel, a life coaching session to prep for or do, not to mention regular old everyday vanilla chores like house cleaning, bills to pay, etc.

Sometimes the very best thing to do is nothing in particular.

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
Categories365 Gratitude

So it's not a secret that I'm something of an ochlophobe.  For those unfamiliar with the term, it's someone who doesn't like being in crowds.

I find them overwhelming.  

It's mysteriously inconsistent though. I can go to a concert or movie, sit in my seat, enjoy it.  

I've been to some outdoor concerts and had lawn seats, same thing. Yet other times, those same lawn seats were torture.

The disjointed crowd, talking in a million conversations, feeling, doing so many different things makes me feel trapped. My head pounds. My stomach rolls. It's a terrible feeling. 

The funny thing about all this is I'm an entertainer. I love to perform TO a crowd. I have no fear whatsoever of public speaking, love reading my work in front of an audience, love making people laugh, think, or be aroused. I'm a storyteller.  

I like to be in FRONT of crowds, just not IN them. I must be some sort of arrogant masochist or something.  

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So why, on Thanksgiving, would I possibly go to a supermarket? What am I, crazy?

No, just unwilling to be compromised by my fears when we needed some things.  I'm glad I did, too, because it actually became something of a profound experience.

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When I got out of the car, I parked next to this guy who had a completely ridiculous sticker on his car.  This one.  That got me in a whimsical mood.  But it was nothing compared to the people I'd run into next.

As I walked down the aisle of the crowded parking lot, I saw a young family with two small children, juggling many packages, and loading their car.  

The mother would patiently hand something to their daughter, who I think was maybe six, who in turn would hand it to her father, who would put it away.  He was also holding their son, a toddler, on his hip.  The whole process was needlessly awkward, slow, charming, and funny.  Both parents caught my eye as I strolled past, and both smiled at me and nodded toward their daughter, who clearly felt very important.  I wished them a happy thanksgiving, and kept going.

In the store, I wound up behind this couple who were hysterically funny.  The woman would alternate between rushing the man she was with, and then stopping to pick something off the shelves, because they needed it.  Every time he would put something into the cart, she would scold him for slowing them down.  

I smiled walking past them, and he winked at me.  I laughed out loud.  She saw me, and laughed too.  Then they just amped the whole act up, for comic effect.

Lastly, when I checked out, I had the most hyperkinetic doofus checkout clerk ever.  She had a good look at the french wine I was buying, pronounced it acceptable, and asked what time she should come over.  It was really funny, if a teensy tiny bit creepy and off-putting.  Mostly, I was in awe of her frenetic energy, and how she turned what could be an exhausting job on a hard day into something really very positive.

That was the moment when my gratitude for the day rolled up and soundly struck me.  I love people.  I love every last one of them.  People are noisy, confusing, mixed up crazy messes, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  I get so much joy out of my interactions with other people, even total strangers.

I'm grateful for all of you.

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
Categories365 Gratitude