The news about Robin Williams suicide is on everyone's mind these days. It's shocking that someone so beloved is gone. 

People have said some unflattering things about his suicide and his character and I'm not going to rant about that, as ill-informed as it is. They must not understand. 

I do.  

24 years ago, I tried to kill myself.  I was in college at the time, my parents were going through a hideous divorce, my family was having huge financial reverses, and under the burden of all the stress, I wasn't doing well in school.  I felt like my life was falling apart.

I started considering how much easier things would be if I just...wasn't.  I didn't set out to present with any of the typical signs of suicidal ideation, but I managed to anyhow.  My sleep patterns changed, I isolated myself, started not eating. When my girlfriend at the time asked me if anything was wrong, I put on a big fake smile, and said I was just fine.  

Lucky for me she knew better. She stopped me mid-attempt.  

I got help.   

If you are having similar feelings, or think someone close to you is, get help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is at 800-873-8255. Give them a call. I'd be grateful if you do.  

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Posted
AuthorMako Allen
Categories365 Gratitude

I love my iPhone. I haven't envied Android users anything, with one exception. 

Ingress 

It's a game, sort of.  It's like geocaching, crackpot conspiracy theory, and the us-vs-them game dynamic of World of Warcraft got put in a blender.  

There's an iOS version of the app now, and I got it two days ago.  

Today on my way home from Richard's birthday party campout I hunted down and took over my first interdimendional portal, at an abandoned workhouse, so that my faction, The Enlightened can help guide the efforts of the extradimensional  Shapers in bringing about a new age of peace in our world. 

Seriously. 

See?

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I'm grateful that I get to participate in this compelling game of pretend that THOUSANDS of adults are contributing to.  

I'm also grateful that the efforts of The Resistance have proven unsuccessful at stopping us. ;-)

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
Categories365 Gratitude

Richard is family to me. 

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Tonight I'm at his birthday party. 

He's just lovely.  Over the years I have known him, we have taken care of each other.  He's often take-charge and responsible, and is generous with his time and effort. I count on him for common sense advice and help. 

At the same time, I take care of him too. He's kind of like my kid. 

Our relationship is complex and beautiful.   

I'm grateful for him. 

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
Categories365 Gratitude