Missy and I, while we are both very different, are also much the same. 

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We love many of the same things, and sharing in moments of quiet domestic bliss.   

We went on a spontaneous movie date last night, just because. Then today, went out on errands. When I mentioned I needed hangers, she was super excited to take me to a cool dollar store near our new place, to get some.  

As we went about our day today together, every so often I would catch her making this tiny, happy smile.  

When I asked her about it, she just said she loved me.  

I feel the exact same way about her. Just living our lives together is blissful for me. 

She's my best friend, and I'm grateful for that.  

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
Categories365 Gratitude

Christine Miserandino has lupus.  You can't tell when someone has lupus by looking at them.  It's what many call an "invisible ailment."  She's also a genius.  She came up with a way to convey her limited budget of time, energy, and health to others.  It's called The Spoon Theory.

Do yourself a favor and go read it.  It's brilliant.

I'm incredibly grateful that I'm a healthy person.  Even healthy people do have a limited amount of spoons.  (Of course, I'm not an unsympathetic jerk, I recognize that compared to someone with lupus, who maybe has a drawer full of spoons, I've got like an entire IKEA warehouse of them.)

But still, spoons aren't infinite.

I'm super grateful I learned about this theory.  Because I used to think I had infinite stores of spoons.  I'm a people-pleaser.  I often have a hard time saying no to people.  I wind up paying for it later.  It's a bitter pill to swallow, but in my 40's I don't have the energy resources I had in my 20's.  I need decent sleep, and I've never been a good multi-tasker.  I like to focus on one thing at a time, and give it my all.

Every so often, I load my plate with way more stuff than I can possibly handle and have it all come crashing down around me.  I'll get a poor night's sleep, lose my motivation to do much of anything, and wind up feeling like 8 pounds of overcooked spaghetti being stored in a 4 pound bag.

Today is actually one of those days.  I was up late last night, have visitors coming to see me tomorrow, forgot to wear my CPAP to bed, and woke up this morning rocking what, if I'm not careful, will turn into a skull-busting migraine.  

Now, before I knew about the spoon theory, I would have tortured myself mercilessly at the mistakes I had made previously.  I should have gone straight to bed after coaching last night, should have carefully put on the CPAP, etc.  I could have been unpacking my home office in bits and pieces all this past week, etc.  

But I realize, I only have just so many spoons to manage everything in my life that I do, both for myself and others.  So I took a sick day today, so I can baby myself a bit (not like that), keep myself from getting a migraine, and gently, slowly, get done the things which are weighing me down.  I'm grateful for the spoons I have, and my awareness of their limited number, especially given how much more plentiful compared to the spoon inventory of others.

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
Categories365 Gratitude

Something really ghoulish just occurred to me. With my commitment to blogging/tweeting/journaling every day, any post I write could be my very last one. 

We have no idea how or when we will die. I saw a tweet this morning from a marine biologist who specializes in sharks, linking to a picture of a beached great white shark who choked to death on a sea lion.  

No I'm not going to link to it. It was awful. 

But it got me thinking about my blogging, and my life in general. It's absolutely my desire to bring positivity and good into the world. 

Sometimes it's really tempting to vent about something or someone and how terrible it/they are.  But that's only one side of the story.  

And it's not how I want to go out. 

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Posted
AuthorMako Allen

While it's true that I'm mostly an extrovert, I'm an introvert, too. 

Most people don't know this about me. Heck, I forget it myself, sometimes.

I do love to be around people, and to make them laugh, or entertain them. I have almost no fear whatsoever of public speaking.  I love the spotlight, sometimes a bit too much.

But the opposite is true, too. I love a quiet morning by myself. I enjoy listening to the sounds nature makes, feeling the sun and wind on my face, and opening to them. It feels good to lose myself in that. 

Don't get me wrong, people are great.  I love connecting with others. 

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But it can be exhausting. I'm grateful for the recharging downtime I find in moments of quiet solitude. 

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
Categories365 Gratitude