Christine Miserandino has lupus. You can't tell when someone has lupus by looking at them. It's what many call an "invisible ailment." She's also a genius. She came up with a way to convey her limited budget of time, energy, and health to others. It's called The Spoon Theory.
Do yourself a favor and go read it. It's brilliant.
I'm incredibly grateful that I'm a healthy person. Even healthy people do have a limited amount of spoons. (Of course, I'm not an unsympathetic jerk, I recognize that compared to someone with lupus, who maybe has a drawer full of spoons, I've got like an entire IKEA warehouse of them.)
But still, spoons aren't infinite.
I'm super grateful I learned about this theory. Because I used to think I had infinite stores of spoons. I'm a people-pleaser. I often have a hard time saying no to people. I wind up paying for it later. It's a bitter pill to swallow, but in my 40's I don't have the energy resources I had in my 20's. I need decent sleep, and I've never been a good multi-tasker. I like to focus on one thing at a time, and give it my all.
Every so often, I load my plate with way more stuff than I can possibly handle and have it all come crashing down around me. I'll get a poor night's sleep, lose my motivation to do much of anything, and wind up feeling like 8 pounds of overcooked spaghetti being stored in a 4 pound bag.
Today is actually one of those days. I was up late last night, have visitors coming to see me tomorrow, forgot to wear my CPAP to bed, and woke up this morning rocking what, if I'm not careful, will turn into a skull-busting migraine.
Now, before I knew about the spoon theory, I would have tortured myself mercilessly at the mistakes I had made previously. I should have gone straight to bed after coaching last night, should have carefully put on the CPAP, etc. I could have been unpacking my home office in bits and pieces all this past week, etc.
But I realize, I only have just so many spoons to manage everything in my life that I do, both for myself and others. So I took a sick day today, so I can baby myself a bit (not like that), keep myself from getting a migraine, and gently, slowly, get done the things which are weighing me down. I'm grateful for the spoons I have, and my awareness of their limited number, especially given how much more plentiful compared to the spoon inventory of others.