#gratitudeNow: A pizza, the action

So, a bit more on that good traveler business.

It’s Sunday afternoon, and I’ve missed my train. Oops! That’s because I had to change my tickets on way up here in the first place, because reasons, and when I put the revised reservation in my calendar, I put the wrong time. I got to the station here in New York about 25 minutes after my original train left.

It’s okay. I marched right up to the Amtrak desk, told them what happened and they gave me options. I picked the best one. “Best” involves me waiting an hour for a new train, which goes into Washington DC, but not to the station where I left my car. Then I can take the subway south, and grab a lyft from the end of the line to the station where my car is.

Oy.

But… I did get to have some lovely new york pizza here at the station, a little bit ago. Plus, I’ve got my laptop, and can spend the extra time working on Project Longbottom, blogging, and relaxing.

So, really, it’s okay.

#gratitudeNow: A Good Traveler

There’s a Lao-tzu quote I’m very fond of.

“A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.”

This resonates with me. You're always on your way somewhere. It’s not the somewhere that matters, it’s the way. In this case, I’m on a train headed to New York City to visit family.

I had a few bumps in my plans to be on this train. For one, the station I prefer to use is on a military base, and they just changed the rules for getting access to said base. So I had to change my reservation to the next station up the line. For another, last night we recorded a new episode of the podcast, which got me to bed a bit later than I’d like, but was entirely worth it. Then this morning, when I got up, it was snowing!

Not a problem though. I have a very, very warm coat I bought back in November, for the trip Mama and I took to Iceland for our anniversary. Plus, it was still in the back of my car, along with the incredibly warm hat she had knit for me, and my convertible finger-gloves. So I got in the car a bit earlier than I had originally planned, and got on my way. I noted with satisfaction as I packed the car that I had packed properly. Not too much stuff, not too little.

I stopped, picked up breakfast including a very hot coffee, and arrived at the station with a good 40 minutes to wait. Which was both good and bad. Because the little waiting room/coffee shop was closed, locked up tight. And it was 24º outside.

I was reasonably comfy in my cold weather gear, so I sat and chatted amiably with some of my fellow passengers. One lady was an arrival from Boston by bus, and her ride was nowhere in sight. So I called someone for her, and waited with her until they came.

The thing I’m grateful for is this skill I have, which I picked up as a child. My family traveled a lot when I was a kid. My dad had this weird job that made him travel all the time. During the summers, we frequently took long, complex trips with him all over the world. So I learned pretty early on how to travel well. It’s a combination of a couple of things. One, pack sensibly, so you can move easily. And two, even more importantly, lean into flexibility, and make do with what you have. It’s a special kind of transit-flavored mindfulness.

I’ve written before about how my dad was a terrible person, which is still true. But I am grateful to him for my travel experiences, and the attitudes and skills I acquired through them.

I’m comfortably seated in the café car on the train, ready to settle down to a nice little marathon of coding on my way up. I’ve carved myself this comfortable little space in which to relax and work, while I watch the miles roll by. It’s a familiar feeling, which is simultaneously adventurous and feels like coming home.

I’m grateful for it.

#gratitudeNow: Karma Going, Not Gone

I have this wi-fi hotspot, a Karma Go.

An ex of mine gave it to me. I’ve had it for a couple of years now. Back when I was actively working on a side project (Project Drummond) I used that thing constantly.

But I stopped working on Project Drummond with vigor a while ago, and in fact killed the project altogether late last year.

However, since last October I’ve been working like a demon on a different side project, Project Longbottom. Which by the way, is going incredibly well. I’m actually in beta with it now. I’ve got 30 users banging away on the thing, each and every day.

I need to take a long train trip this weekend, and the X hours I’m going to be on the train will be absolutely prime time to put my head down and code away. So, time to break out the trusty old hotspot.

I was nervous about it. I haven’t used it in ages. I know my account is still current. But it’s a finicky beast, prone to losing charge. Plus, the companion iOS app for it had vanished from the app store, which I didn’t take as a good sign.

But I booted the sucker up this morning, got it charged, and it’s just fine. Moreover, when I contacted the nice folks at Karma, they told me the reason the app isn’t available anymore is because they’re busy upgrading it, and it’ll be back soon.

Whew! Glad to have it.

#gratitudeNow: The Ponder

So every day, I have a few, “rituals” I guess you could call them.

The very first thing I do, every morning, is consciously make the choice to think “oh good, another one.“ But today I want to talk about the others. I also meditate every day. Usually, this happens in the shower. As I stand under the hot water I follow my breath until my mind becomes silent.

I’ll stay that way for a minute, sometimes a lot longer.

After that, I contemplate. What I mean by that is, I’ll take some idea I’m working on and sort of put it up on my mental chalkboard, and look at it. Lately the one I’ve been working on is sadness, sorrow. What even is it? What can I do with it or about it? So far what I have is that sadness is a means to connect with other people, and also a sort of built-in warning system for myself.

Things which bring me sorrow, also become things I focus on, to see what I can do about them.

Anyhow that’s just an example. This process, of meditation and contemplation, it’s immensely valuable to me. Often when I’m done doing the contemplation part of the process, it leaves me with additional thoughts that I find myself touching and exploring throughout the day.

I even have a name for that phenomenon, I call it “the ponder.“ The ponder got me to post something thoughtful to Facebook, and to go out of my way to message a few folks about something.

I’m grateful for the ponder, because for me it’s often a call to action, to see how I can do better for myself and the people around me.

#gratitudeNow: Dishing About Service

So I had this realization today. It was after work, I was home, and chatting with my friend Bunny. She’s like me, an age player, who also has a service relationship with her big, her Daddy. We were talking about the nature of service, doing chores, and how it makes us feel.

I was cleaning the kitchen as we chatted, taking breaks to snap off a quick response to her as I went. I had finished loading the dishwasher when I sent this:

It’s hard work for her to take care of me, because in a way, I’m a boy who never grows up, never will. So it’s really important that I actually do grow in some ways, however I can.

Become a better listener, become well behaved, actually respond to, learn from, and be shaped by the way she disciplines me. I think one of the pivotal differences between play and service is taking it seriously.

After that, I saw that while I had loaded the dishwasher, and set it running, there were still dishes left over, including a big pizza pan which really doesn’t fit well in there anyhow.

so I washed that sucker by hand, as well as the rest of the things which hadn’t yet been cleaned. I dried them and put them away. The kitchen is sparkling like the top of the Chrysler Building, as the expression goes.

And I feel like I’m making my best effort to be the very best behaved boy I can be for my mama. It feels damn good.