There's this scene in the movie Secretary that I absolutely love. Lee Holloway, is the secretary and submissive to E. Edward Grey, a meticulous, somewhat neurotic lawyer who yearns to sadistically spank and otherwise control her.
In the particular scene, things are heating up between Lee and Edward, and he's regularly spanking her, making her crawl on all fours, and over the phone even dictating exactly how much and what she can eat.
I just adore this movie, and that scene in particular. When she eats the odd, sparse dinner, the rest of her very vanilla family look on in bewilderment. They just don't get it. But Lee's face, at first on the phone, and then later as she's eating the peas, is caught up in a rapture of ecstasy.
Why? Because she's living her authentic life. This is who and what she wants to be.
The reason it's my gratitude, or a piece of it, is because I live this way, too, sort of.
My wife Missy, and my girlfriend Alissa are my Mommy and my Auntie respectively. Recently, just after New Year's, we decided together that it was in my best interest to start tracking my food and exercise again, and they both expressed an interest in me sharing pictures of everything I eat with them, so they can keep an eye on me.
And that's exactly what we've been doing, me and my kink parents, for days now.
Here are some of the pictures in our group text. You can see the salad and steak I had for dinner the night before, the fish sandwich and fries I had for lunch before that, the pretzel M&M's I had for a snack, and the simple little breakfast I had earlier in the day.
You can also see the thumbs-up emoticon that Mommy sent us both, showing that she approved of many of my choices.
At work today, I already noticed some positive effects to all this, too. I ate moderate portion sizes, and had water more than graze on junk food in the kitchen.
In this group chat we have, the two of them have talked to one another about me, and what I'm doing, how I'm eating. It feels a bit like having dinner around the family dining room table. It feels a bit like the 4 peas scene, too.
What really sticks with me is how the three of us, even separated by distance, are living an authentic life, together. That feels so damn good.