This is it.  The last of my 365 entries of gratitude (more or less, some accounting errors notwithstanding.)

What have I learned after a year of mindfully paying attention to my gratitude?  A lot of things.

  • I've learned that more often than not, my wife Missy is at the heart of many of the things I'm grateful for.
  • I've learned that when I let myself, I can easily get in my own way, and cause myself a lot of suffering.
  • I've learned that just as easily, when I let myself, I can easily get out of my own way, and bring myself peace.
  • I've learned that gratitude isn't built, achieved, celebrated, envied, or grown.  It's just experienced.
  • And based on that last point, I've learned that I'm just getting started with it.  And always will be.

How does that work, exactly?  How can you always be just getting started?  I think, in part, it's because the work of mindful gratitude is a sort of self-supporting mechanism, it's self-referential. The work is done by me, to me, about me, for me.  I'm the source material for the process, the reference guide for how to do it, and the end product, while also being the consumer of it.  

There's a mathematical analogue for this sort of snake-eating-itself mindset.  It's called self-similarity, and is often seen in fractals.

I find them hauntingly beautiful.  They repeat their patterns, infinitely.  What is at first a small, inconsequential part of the pattern becomes larger, getting significant for a time, until the next small part is focused upon.

Very familiar.

That's why today, I don't get a victory lap.  Because there's no end in sight.

I'm grateful for that.  I was grateful for it 364 times previously.  It looks like I'll be grateful for it for a countless number of days to come.  

AuthorMako Allen
Categories365 Gratitude