#gratitudeNow: The Opposite of Congress

There's an old joke that says the opposite of congress is progress.

Ha-ha.  Progress is on my mind though.

So, I'm a creative guy.  You know this, because you're here, reading my blog, and my projects are a major part of what I talk about on here.

But I have a lot of things "in progress" at the moment.  Let's see:

1. I've lost over 50 pounds on the keto diet, and want to lose somewhere between 40-50 more.
2. I'm getting my personal finances in better shape.
3. I've got a small company that's building a software product.
4. I've got a patreon, where I'm writing short illustrated and narrated fiction.
5. I'm working on my third novel, which will soon be released-in-progress on the patreon.
6. I'm beginning to release my narrated, illustrated fiction in a new format, as movies.
7. I'm learning new technologies at my day job.
8. I'm polyamorous, and working hard to be fully present in my relationships.

Boy, that sounds like a lot.  That's because it is a lot.  Some days, I'm wrung out from it.  I get stuck in a sort of analysis paralysis, unsure of what to do next, what resources I have, what to do when the tank is empty.

I stumbled across this great video by Simon Alexander Ong, about making progress your focus.

In a way, it's a rehash of something I am constantly telling other people.  Don't focus on the wall you're building, focus on the brick you're laying.  Lay it perfectly.  If it's not right, pick it up, adjust it, start over with that brick, whatever.  (And I'm talking about a wall like the Great Wall, a metaphorically overwhelming in scale project, not that travesty you-know-who keeps blathering about.)

When I was a kid, my dad taught me one of the most important lessons of my life, to measure success by motion, not by destination.  You can be 1 step on your path, or 1,000. Your path can change, alter course.  It most likely will, in fact.  Doesn't matter.  As long as you keep going, you're doing just fine.

I had this big obstacle I crashed right into about two weeks ago.  My patreon got suspended for violating their guidelines.  I worked feverishly to figure out how, and do something about it. Then, when I didn't hear from them, sought out other venues for my work.  It was a frustrating yet ultimately beneficial experience.  I learned a bunch of things about where an erotica author can publish, what they can publish, and how.  And that knowledge is going to be helpful to me down the line.  And I had support, so much support.  Friends and family consoled me, offered me guidance, helped me find options.  I am so very loved and supported in my work, by so many.

Thankfully, my patreon got reinstated.  The changes I made put me back in compliance, and I'm good to go.  I'm not going to lie when it first happened, it was crushing to me.  Even that pain and suffering (much of it self-inflicted) taught me things about myself, my efforts, my patterns of behavior and self-judgment, what's important to me, what my underlying reasons are for even doing much of what I do.

Targets change.  They move.  But it's the travel towards them that helps me know I'm alive.

Listen, you and me, dear reader, we're the same.  Human animals, with only some grasp of what it is we're actually doing as we move through life.  

Keep going, okay?  Because it feels good.

#gratitudeNow: A dear moment

Last night, I got home and was grilling up some burgers out on the deck, when a deer ran through the back yard.

It was one of those perfect moments of mindful contemplation.  The deer had run across the yard before exiting up the hill.  He had moved quickly, with purpose, and then once safely under the trees, slowed to a meander.

I saw and recognized this pattern, having just done it myself.  I had made my way home on the highway, at speed, and now that I was home, I could slow down, stop, and move at a more sedate pace.

Then I let go of even that pattern, and just watched him.

So peaceful.

#gratitudeNow: Sometimes, I am a good boy.

It's funny how a good night's sleep sets you to rights.  I had an excellent one last night, getting to bed on time, lights out.  I got 7 hours and 20 minutes of gorgeous sleep.  

I struggle with bedtimes often.  I don't want to go to bed, or have a ton of things on my mind, or busy myself with unimportant things.  There's no video game that needs 20 more minutes of playing, no facebook post that needs replying to, more than I need my sleep.

But I rocked it last night.  Then this morning, I woke up feeling ready to take on the world.  Missy got me out of my diaper, and into the shower, and got on her way.

After I got out, I got nice sweet text messages from her.

These, specifically.

Intellectually, I know I'm generally well behaved. and a good boy.  But it sure is nice to be told so.

#gratitudeNow: Still in love

Here’s a gorgeous video of a curious mako shark checking out some divers.

I fell in love with sharks when I was 15. It’s been 32 years and my love for them hasn’t faded one bit. 

#gratitudeNow: Lapcat

Today, I'm doing some writing and hanging out with Missy in the living room.

Yang is with me

My boycat Yang is sitting on my lap, insinuating himself between me and the laptop.  It's adorable.  It's a pain in the ass.  It's both!  

Cats are such funny, entitled, loving agents of chaos.  At first I wanted to push him off my lap, and really get to work.  But he's got me realizing it's important to go slow, and pay attention to love.

It makes me think of Andrea.  She was a cat person too.  Her babies, Abbycat and Daddycat, look, weirdly like my Yin and Yang.  She has expressed to me many times how they're lovely pains-in-the-neck, too.

I COULD be writing in my office, at my desk. without company (cat or spouse).  But it's better this way.

I know Andrea would approve.