#365Gratitude Day 240: Just hop off the bus, Gus

A big part of mindfulness is recognizing that we are not our thoughts.  We think them, but are not them.  It is possible to mindfully detach from our thoughts and observe them.  Easier said than done though.  This is an immensely difficult task to wrap your mind around.

I stumbled across an article this morning about a great technique for doing just that, called the Mindbus Technique.  It's a visualization.

Imagine you're driving a bus full of noisy passengers.  The passengers are each the various negative thoughts you're having.  I'll use me as an example.  Today I need to: do about 45 minutes of work on my book, go swim at the gym, come home and work for the day, including some emails I really don't want to send, and some paperwork I don't want to do, and change the cat litter, too.   My bus has several noisy passengers on it:

There's Mr. That'll-Take-Forever, Miss I-don't-have-the-time, and Mrs. What-Difference-Does-It-Make.

So I make sure they're all seated (safety first, even for them!) and put the bus in gear.  Eventually we get to each of their stops, and I see them walk off the bus, one by one.  As each leaves the bus, it gets more and more quiet, until it's just me, driving the empty bus.  Take a few good breaths, and listen to the silence in your brain, I mean bus, I mean brain.

Ahhh.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go park this empty bus and get some writing done.

#dailyThink: Perspective

I have a good friend and a relative who are both super, extra, intensely right leaning conservatives.  Recently I've been engaging with both of them a bit about stuff they're passionate about.

I have a lot of lefty, liberal viewpoints (Although I don't consider myself a liberal, or a moderate.  I'm just myself. I don't side with any group or ideology.  I'm not interested in group-think.)

I tend to avoid political wrangling over social media, because I don't see much merit in it. But lately I've been letting myself talk to an isolated few about things because I'm interested in them as people, and the relationship I have with them.  

It's been interesting. I've caught myself treating these exchanges in an almost adversarial way, and then gently reminding myself that that's not necessary.  There's a zen story about this very situation that I love, called You Are Right.  

A few days back I saw a news story about a confrontation between Ted Cruz and the actress Ellen Page.  

She was asking about persecution of trans and LGBT people, and he turned the discussion into one about religious freedom.  

I remember watching this and thinking at the time that he just ducked the question, and sort of weaseled out of making a definitive statement about his stance on discrimination of LGBT people.  

Yet a few days later, that conservative friend of mine posted something about how masterfully Cruz "won" that argument. 

At the time, I sort of scratched my head wondering if we had seen the same talk.  

A few days later I stumbled across a cartoon that struck me as relevant.  

Sharks conferring about how to rescue a diver from the horrible confinement of that cage he's stuck in

I think people see things through a lens informed by their perspective, identity, and desire. I include myself in that. 

It makes me laugh really. I consider mindfulness to be a practice, a discipline. There is this problem with mindfulness that is inescapable. Every thought I have or impression I experience is ultimately thought or experienced by me.  

It's utterly impossible to get around that.  

The more I continue my mindful practice the more I see how futile it is to even try to get around it.  I see that I have bias, you have bias, we all have bias. 

Alan Watts has said that you are a function of the whole universe in much the same way as any wave is a function of the whole ocean.  

I agree with that. You might not. It's all good.  

#365Gratitude Day 239: The 道 of Steven Universe

They say they're talking about summoning a weapon. And they are. They're also not.  

Just because: Empathy vs Sympathy

This. Is. Great.  

I hope you love it and get as much out of it as I did.  

And if you didn't....at least this last line made you laugh. ​

#365Gratitude Day 238: The Clitoris

Not the actual clitoris.  (Although those are really, truly great.)

I'm talking about the website, the-clitoris.com.  (NSFW, but not gratuitously so.)

I stumbled across it this morning, doing some research for my new book, A Little Patch of Sunshine.  I'm at a part of the book where the main character, Sunny, who's from a very conservative family, is just starting to really sexually awaken.  She's a bit of a late bloomer in her late teens, and while she has masturbated, she doesn't really know what she's doing, yet.  

Thankfully, she's got someone she can trust to help her learn all about it.

I'm thankful too - I've got friends helping me write this book who talk to me all the time about their own sexuality, history, and life experience.  This is good, because writing from the perspective of a teenage girl is pretty tough when you have never been one.  I get by with a little help from my friends.

But sometimes I do need additional resources.  So this morning I went looking for, and found, the clitoris.  I was looking for sites about how to talk to teens about masturbation (of which there are many, of varying degrees of quality).  On a parenting messaging board I found the following post:

Re: Explaining masterbation to my daughter
Mon Oct 20, 2008 4:31 pm

Show her to www.the-clitoris.com great personal stories from people of all ages, she won't feel embarrassed ands its sensitively done :

Now the girl in question that needs masturbation explained to her is a fictional character, but she is a sensitive sort, and easily embarrassed, so this looked like it was just what I needed.  I checked it out.

It's amazing.  There's so much good information there, for anyone and everyone.  I've known for years now that the vagina is just really one part of the vulva, which is really the right word for "the whole business down there."  But I didn't pay much attention to or know much about the vestibule.

I love that in learning information to teach a character, I'm learning, too.