Friday we left Florida, heading for home.  We traveled most of the way home, stopping in Raleigh, NC, at our friend Maya's, as a waypoint.  

That stop was a literal, and metaphorical waypoint, a "set of coordinates that identify a point in physical space", as well as in my and my wife's lives.

It's been a very difficult week.  I drove down to Florida to meet my wife, and sister-in-law, and assorted other family, because my mother-in-law passed away Monday.

My mother-in-law has had health issues to varying degrees for a long time now, but about two months ago, they ratcheted up in speed, power, and complexity.  It created a whirlwind of unhappiness, and discord in our lives, but most especially for my wife and her sister.  My wife was at her bedside when she passed.  My sister-in-law was in the air, on her way back there, after having spent several torturous days there helping Missy tend to her affairs.  I rushed down right after it happened, too, aided by two of my closest friends, Maya and Michael, who split the drive with me.  They selflessly spent the time down there with us, aiding the family in big ways and small, and being emotional support.  

It's a debt I can never repay.

On our way back up, we stopped in Raleigh after about 13 hours on the road.  After a week in limbo, it was good to have a safe space to crash in, literally.  Yesterday, the last leg of the trip, the drive back home had a dreamy, surreal quality.  It wasn't just slowly slipping back into familiar geographical territory, but feeling the phase shift through life-before-tragedy, crisis, and life-after-tragedy.

We returned home to our well cared for house and pets, and a delicious dinner, to boot, thanks to our friend Rachel, who watched the cats while we were away.  

I'm beyond grateful for the ways so many have seen us through these waypoints.

 

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
Categories365 Gratitude

One of my favorite authors is Spider Robinson.  He wrote an amazing book called Callahan's Cross-Time Saloon.  It's about a mythical bar in Long Island, New York, where aliens, time travellers, vampires, and other unusual characters get together to discuss what's on their minds. 

It starts with a toast.  They order a drink, step up to a chalk line, and toast whatever's on their mind, good or bad.   Then they drain their drink, and throw their glass into the fireplace, smashing it into bits.

Afterwards, all the other bar patrons listen as the toast-giver explains his toast, with a story.  Then, they lend their support.  It's beautiful. 

Jake, one of the main characters in the book, and really Spider Robinson's in-story avatar, pithily describes the philosophy behind the bar, and this sacred ritual.  "Shared pain is lessened, shared joy is increased.  Thus we refute entropy." 

It's perfect. 

I witness things like this happen in my own life sometime.  Yesterday (which this gratitude is for) was such a day.  Earlier in the day, we attended my mother-in-law's funeral.  It was a beautiful and terrible event. 

A while afterward, Missy, my sister-in-law, two of my closest friends on the planet, and I went out for some very delicious and unhealthy food.  We split this fine concoction you see below, an old-fashioned banana split sundae. 

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As we ate, we laughed, cried, and shared.  The terrible got a little less terrible, for a few moments.  Joyful sharing made nostalgic things sweet, and helped connect a rough day to many other better ones.

I'm grateful we got to do that.

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
Categories365 Gratitude

Yesterday, my friend Maya and I spent a long time in the car.  On our drive we listened to some stand-up comedy, and a horrendously funny and offensive song by DaVinci's Notebook called "Enema Countdown."    

I'm in the midst of dealing with something horrendous, and the time laughing felt so very good.  Laughter is important, but never more so than when you're dealing with something hard.  ​

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I'm grateful for those shared moments of gasping for breath, together.  They were precious.​

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
Categories365 Gratitude

I have beautiful families in my life - both my biological family, and my family of choice.   I've been dealing with a health crisis lately - a very sick relative.​  All these people have crawled out of the woodwork to lend me support in this trying time.

I have received countless phone calls, visits, asisstance , advice, and comfort from people who have taken great care to let me know how much they love and care about me, and those I love.   

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I love and am grateful for you all.​

Posted
AuthorMako Allen
Categories365 Gratitude