For ages and ages, I've said that my favorite episode of the Big Little Podcast is Number 9, Self-Esteem and Coming Out.
It's still true. Do check it out.
I was on reddit this morning, responding to a thread on r/ABDL about how to come out to your therapist when I recommeneded episode 17, Ageplay and Finding a Therapist. We recorded that thing waaaay back in 2011, seven years ago!
I'm solidly of the belief now that #17 is definitely my second favorite episode of all time, and that nine plus 17 equals a whole lot more than 26.
I remember it being good, but I hadn't listened to it in a while. So I put it on. Man, it sure is good. First off, my friend Liz had super smart things to say about the physiology of the brain, and about telling a therapist about experiences of abuse. My ex Kacie said wicked smart stuff about the reality of dating an age player and how it has nothing to do with actual kids, really smart, direct stuff.
And then there's Andrea. Andrea was so amazing on this episode. She just was everywhere in the show. Everything anyone had to say, she had support for, or great contrasting opinions. She was raw, honest, open, and fantastic.
We're recording an episode of the show this week about grief & loss, during which Andrea will figure largely. And it's been bittersweet and challenging, getting myself ready, writing up the list of things we're going to discuss.
Listening to episode 17 this morning gave me the warmest feeling about Andrea. Listening to her wise words, lovely dirty innuendo, and caring talk just made me feel so good.
There's this one moment, when I'm talking about my confused feelings around face slapping, due to childhood trauma, and I say something funny in the midst of describing it all. And Andrea wanted to laugh, so much. And I said it was okay to laugh, and she did.
Even though she's gone, she's still here with me.