Everyone lives and dies by their google calendar, when you’re polyamorous.

Recently, because of my new squeeze, MJ, I’ve been adjusting those pesky google calendar settings.

Wanted to write this down for you, dear reader, as well as myself for the future. Because I’m bound to forget this damn stupid thing again.

If, like me, you’re an apple person, and use iCal and iPhones, and iGetFrustrated when they don’t work seamlessly with your partner’s gCal:

These instructions tell you how to add a google calendar to the iCal on your mac:

https://support.google.com/calendar/answer/99358?co=GENIE.Platform%3DDesktop&oco=0

And THIS technote has the workaround for how to add them to your iPhone when the above instructions don’t do squat.

https://discussions.apple.com/thread/7647157

The crucial thing to remember is to add a new CalendarDAV account, using google.com as your server, and your regular credentials to log in.

You should probably ALSO remember that sharks are the best animals on the planet. That’s not technically helpful, it’s just true.

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AuthorMako Allen
CategoriesImportant

For ages and ages, I've said that my favorite episode of the Big Little Podcast is Number 9, Self-Esteem and Coming Out.

It's still true.  Do check it out.

I was on reddit this morning, responding to a thread on r/ABDL about how to come out to your therapist when I recommeneded episode 17, Ageplay and Finding a Therapist.  We recorded that thing waaaay back in 2011, seven years ago!

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I'm solidly of the belief now that #17 is definitely my second favorite episode of all time, and that nine plus 17 equals a whole lot more than 26.

I remember it being good, but I hadn't listened to it in a while.  So I put it on.  Man, it sure is good.  First off, my friend Liz had super smart things to say about the physiology of the brain, and about telling a therapist about experiences of abuse.  My ex Kacie said wicked smart stuff about the reality of dating an age player and how it has nothing to do with actual kids, really smart, direct stuff.  

And then there's Andrea.  Andrea was so amazing on this episode.  She just was everywhere in the show.  Everything anyone had to say, she had support for, or great contrasting opinions.  She was raw, honest, open, and fantastic.

We're recording an episode of the show this week about grief & loss, during which Andrea will figure largely.  And it's been bittersweet and challenging, getting myself ready, writing up the list of things we're going to discuss.

Listening to episode 17 this morning gave me the warmest feeling about Andrea.  Listening to her wise words, lovely dirty innuendo, and caring talk just made me feel so good.  

There's this one moment, when I'm talking about my confused feelings around face slapping, due to childhood trauma, and I say something funny in the midst of describing it all.  And Andrea wanted to laugh, so much.  And I said it was okay to laugh, and she did.

Even though she's gone, she's still here with me.  

I've got this friend, Nanny Grace.  She's a sex worker, a pro-domme Mommy.  She's thinky, fun, and kind.  We're relatively new friends, and lately have indulged in that glut of "get to know you" talk where we discuss anything and everything.

She introduced me to an idea about sexuality, the "dual-control" model of sexual response.  Basically, it works like this:

Some things get you going, like pressing a gas pedal.  Other things hold you back, like a brake pedal.

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What sort of things? All sorts of things.  Physical condition, social context, self-image, emotional well-being, the list goes on and on and on.  So, what it's like a math problem?  Gee thanks, Mako, you've reduced my getting off to an algebra problem.  

No, no, I swear it's not that bad.  Even though it seems overwhelming, clinical and awful, there's a hidden secret yet effective way to get on top of your sexual response.

Just ask Emily Nagorski.

Who?  I'm glad you asked.  She's a researcher, author and speaker who my friend Grace introduced me to.  Watch this.  It's going to be among the most useful, important 17 minutes or so of your life.  The basic premise is, context matters.

When you like yourself, when you recognize how awesome your body is, and all the different ways you have to use it to get off, and how good a thing that is, you stomp that gas pedal in your underpants hard.

Thanks, Grace.

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AuthorMako Allen

It hasn't been easy for Marigold.

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First, when she was just a child. she had to go live with her awful aunt.  Then, there’s the very bad thing that made her run away from home.  

Eventually she grew up and found a great guy.  They got married, had a kid, everything seemed just fine. But it wasn’t.

Marigold realized what she really wanted.  She wanted him to spank her.  Not just that, either.  She wanted him to put her in diapers, and she told him.  

It didn’t go so well.

But that wasn’t going to stop her.  Because once she really knew who she was, that was when little marigold began to blossom.


New illustrated chapters and audio released exclusively at https://www.patreon.com/makoallen 

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AuthorMako Allen